If God didn't have a purpose for us, we wouldn't be here!

Wow! What a powerful statement!

I have been talking with friends online and face to face, who are like me and going through some sort of difficult time. I think of the trouble I have in my life and then I think of the trouble that other's have...I really can't complain a whole lot!! I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, I have a job, I have a wonderful, healthy son, I have a great boyfriend who thinks the world of me and I have the best friends in the world. Really!

Last week after reading my post my friend Anne gave me some AWESOME words:

Sometimes it isn't really the loss of a relationship that hurts and saddens us so much, but the loss of the dream and hope of what the relationship could have been (or more to the point, what it should have been).

Oh how those words hit home! The words had healing powers. I have been so fortunate to have friends who listen, care, and send wonderful words of wisdom. I have always hoped that I too could be a friend like that. Give words of comfort, listen and be a true friend when needed most.

I have a friend who gave me a cd called Out Of Breath by Go Fish. If you haven't heard it, find it. If you find it, buy it. You will not be disappointed. It is an awesome Christian acapella group. One of mine and Tyler's favorite songs is 'Your My Little Girl'. This song also has healing powers so much so that I listen to it daily!

Here are the word. Read them carefully!

The ones you love they let you down
And I want you to know that I¹m sorry
The choices that they made were wrong
You were caught in the middle and I¹m sorry

So when the anger and the pain
Get the best of you
I know it seems like you¹re all alone
But I am feeling it too

Chorus
'Cuz you're my little girl
You¹re the one that I created
No one in this world could ever be like you
When you're cryin' in the night
All you need to do is call me
I¹ll be there for you
'Cuz you¹re my little girl

vs. 2
When you're lookin in the mirror
I hope you're likin' what you see
Because no matter what you're feelin'
You're perfect to me

Because I see you as a child
Blameless in my sight
Just spend some time with me
And I¹ll make everything alright

Chorus

Bridge

I know you don't deserve what you've been through
I know it doesn't seem fair
I know that there are times you think you're alone
But you've got to know that I will be there, be there

Chorus

The same group did a remake of this song but the first one is definetly better than the second.

I just wanted to take today and thank my friends, my online friends as well as my local friends. Sometime I don't understand but I do know that God has a purpose for me; He will always be there for me...all I have to do is open the door and let Him lead me in!

Blessings,

If you don't try, you've already failed!

Back in January I told you about a layout I had to do about ME! If you go back and read it, you will learn that I almost didn't do it; if I hadn't done it, I wouldn't be on the CT at TTS. It just goes to show that if you put your mind to something, you can succeed and if you don't try, you've already failed!!

I am trying very hard to be an optimist...so with out further ado...here is the layout that I posted for the AAM requirement.

Journaling Reads:

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name

would care to know my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star would choose to light the way for my ever wondering heart.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again.

Who am I?

That the voice that calms the sea would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me.

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I’m calling, Lord; you catch me when I’m falling. And you told me who I am…I am yours.

Not because of who I am but because of what you’ve done. Not because of what I’ve done but because of who you are.

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

‘Cuz I am yours.

I am yours.

Casting Crowns

Blessings,

I am...

exactly where I am supposed to be.

Have you ever been so depressed about so many things and then either read something, feel something and/or hear something and realize that no matter what is happening it is happening for a reason and that you are exactly where you are supposed to be!!!

Right around Christmas I started to talk to my biological father again. When I got a divorce, he basically disowned me...there is more to it than that but again that is another story. After a week of really trying hard to make an effort to call him and talk with him and work through our problems, he, out of the blue, tells me that he doesn't think that this will work...basically I was told that it was not worth the effort. I have had a very difficult time dealing with this. Those of you who know me know the history and all the abuse (physical, mental and emotional) that my mother, my sister and I took from my biological father. When my mom decided she wanted a divorce I was thrilled!!! No more beatings, no more shot guns, no more being thrown down flights of stairs or having glass shards thrown at me... Fast forward to age 23...He had quit drinking and been sober for 5 years. We started a very delicate relationship but it grew and we became friends. Anyways, I have spent 20 years letting this man slowly come back into my life. When my marriage fell apart, my biological father decided that I was not worth the effort. I was truly devastated. I have been carrying this around for almost three years. At Christmas, I tried again. I really thought that maybe we could become friends again. Guess not!! I didn't get as upset about this as I have in the past but it did/does eat at me now and again.

A few days ago, I was looking through the gallery at TTS and came upon a layout by Nancy P. It's a great layout with a quote that is fabulous...I have learned to love enough to let go! I know that I will never live up to my biological father's expectation...I love him, I will always love him...but I need to let him go! Thank you Nancy for helping me realize that I NEED to let go!

Tonight while watching SnowBuddies with my son I heard another wonderful quote...I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I have to trust that the Lord has something in mind with all of this and that He has put me exactly where I am supposed to be...I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I don't have to understand it...I just need to trust him!!!

Thanks to everyone who has supported me through this...thanks for listening, thanks for holding me, thanks for advise, plane and simple THANKS!!! (Don't think that this is the end of it as I know it will rear it's ugly little head again) But I know that I can always count on all of you to be there holding me up through the whole ordeal!

Blessings,

Vista

The past few days have been crazy to say the least. My laptop finally kicked the bucket. It works but is very slow and after about 10 minutes starts to 'clunk'. It is 8 years old. It has been used very well. I have been looking for a new computer for about a month. I wanted to stay with XP but it seems that it is only available for business (special build) and is VERY expensive. Unless of course you are able to build it yourself...I can't. So it took about a month to convince me that my only choice was either Mac or Vista and I have too many programs that won't ever run on Mac. So it was Vista. That choice being made, I needed to decide what kind of processor. I knew I wanted something that could multi-task and was very fast. Ok, Quad Core was the only choice. Now researching whick Quad Core - Intel or AMD. It didn't take me long to figure out the Intel was the answer. After reading a lot of the chat rooms, even AMD people where disappointed with the AMD processor. It used to much electricity (my hair dryer on low for the whole day!) and it was very loud! The rest was much easier...Vista only reads up to 3GB of memory so there was no sense paying for any more. I already had the 500 GB external HD so anything with 500 or higher was more than enough.

I looked at Circuit City, Best Buy, Sam's Club, on-line...Well being as I am an instant gratification girl and the price difference was zero...I ended up at Best Buy. I purchased an HP Intel Core Quad Core, 3GB Memory, 720 GB Hard Drive computer. I also got a 24" LCD Flat Panel, High Definition, Widescreen monitor! It rotates from widescreen being side to side to widescreen being up and down so that I can turn it for the photos that I take sideways. WhooHoo!!!

I also ordered my wide format Epson printer!!! I am so excited. It should be here on Tuesday!

I paid for Best Buy's Geek Squad to 'optimize' the computer, basically to take off all the trials, the anti-virus software, the infommercials...all the crap that shouldn't be on there in the first place.

Got home - still Thursday night...put everything together. Monitor doesn't work. By this time it is close to 10:00 pm. Called HP...someone was actually in customer support and they walked me through everything. By this time I am exhausted so off to bed. I have Friday off from work so I can finish setting the computer up AND get my layouts done for TTS.

Friday morning... computer won't let me on to GMAIL, won't let me post to TTS and when I tried to install my anti-virus, I was informed that there was already an anti-virus program on the computer. I looked for Norton's in the uninstall portion of the computer and sure enough, there it was! I hit uninstall and was informed that I needed to reinstall Norton's before I could uninstall! I called the Geek Squad and was told to bring the computer in and they would uninstall Norton's correctly AND refund my 'optimization' charge. I didn't have time for this couldn't they just walk me through it. Nope. I also talked to them about GMAIL. They said it was something to do with the computer registry and that I could really mess things up if I tried to fix it. UGH!!!!

Off to Best Buy, they couldn't get Norton's to uninstall either. Finally after 2 hours they got it to uninstall. During this time, they have power cycled the computer so many times that I noticed that my old laptop booted up faster than this new computer. I asked them if it should be that slow. The 'big' Geek Squad guy is rolling his eyes at me by this time but humors me by timing the boot up process. 2 minutes go by and he finally tells one of his guys to just go get me a new $%^& computer. Okay...now another hour to optimize AGAIN!! I finally got back home 5 hours later.

Now I have come to learn a few things about Vista...it's not as bad as everyone says, if you want to install something and it won't let you, shut off the firewall, I love that I can listen to FM radio, I love that I can watch DVD,s, listen to CD,s and set it up to watch satellite TV, all with my new surround sound. I can record up to two weeks of any tv program I want and burn it to DVD. I can set up a user for Tyler and he can only go onto the internet sites that I put under his user!

I can see the screen from across the room and with the wireless keyboard and mouse I can scrap and surf at the same time. I also have a remote for the TV, internet, music...so I can mute instantly.

So, all in all even though it was orignally a pain in the butt. I am happy with my purchase. (I do still have the XP system up and running right now but eventually I will convert everything to this system.

So now I had better get my butt moving on those layouts for TTS. By the way, if you haven't read their newletter...go take a look at it. It has some great layouts.

http://digistore.treasurestoscrap.com/newsletter/feb2008.pdf

They also have a new blog. Check out the challenges and ideas there too!

http://treasurestoscrap.blogspot.com/

I am working with some of the awesome supplies from ScrapWorks today and will hopefully have a layout to share with you later today or tomorrow.

Blessings,

Angela