Does it get easier? Does the sadness ever completely go away? Does that longing to talk to you, hold you, spend time with you ever stop? NO!
The anniversary of your death is two years ago on this DAY...Monday! The actual date is August 13th! Either way you dice it, I still miss you!
A few days ago I was sad and couldn't figure out why...subconsciosly you are never far away. Sometimes I try to block you out so that I can move on with my life...but you are never far away. I dream about you. I think about you. I miss you!!
Yesterday in church I couldn't help but let the tears roll down my face. The pastor was talking about the desert and the fact that sometimes He will not take us on the easiest route but the route that He feels is best for us. Just like when He was leading His people from Egypt...17 God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. Exodus 13:17-18. And then...21 By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. 22 Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. Exodus 13:21 -22.
Can you imagine knowing that the shortest way is to the north but the cloud you are to follow is heading south? A trip that should take you 2 - 3 weeks takes you 40 years?
I know that the Lord has a plan for me. I know that He will not always take me on the shortest or the easiest route but I know that He has something for me to learn or gain...probably Faith in Him.
This time of year brings back so many memories...times I missed with you, times of hurt, pain and anger for the man who hurt us both so badly...pain, hurt and anger that I just can't seem to figure out a way to let go of...You found a way...I miss your strength, I miss your laughter, I miss you!!
