Unconditional Love

Love - there are so many ways to love someone. You can love someone and not be 'IN' love with them. My personal explanation of love...it does not mean that it is reciprocated. If I love someone, I want what is best for them and in reality, most of the time, they do not believe it is me. I am okay with that. Now being okay with that does not mean that I do not hurt...that I do not wish...that I do not cry. What it means is that I want them to be happy! If their vision of happy does not equal my vision of happy, I still want their vision to come true...with or without me. When you love your children, it is the closest thing that we as mortals can come to unconditional love...agape love...selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. We cannot achieve this without being willing to sacrifice our own happiness for someone else's.

I am not saying that we need to continue in a relationship where someone cheats on us or is abusive (physically, emotionally or psychologically). I am not saying that we need to STAY or BE in a relationship at all. However, I truly feel that if we really loved the person, regardless of what they have done to us, we want them to be happy. To find what it is that they need to compliment (no one can complete someone else!) them.

I have loved. I have loved someone who was abusive. I have loved more than one who has cheated on me. I claimed to have loved them. I used the words but my actions did not always reflect what my words said. I was hurt and the hurt feelings over powered the love I once claimed to have. They hurt me; therefore, I wanted them to hurt. I let their actions modify my belief. As I reflect on my actions (reactions), I actually wonder if I really loved them? Did I know what love really was? Or was I just so wrapped up in their actions that I let it change my compass?

As I look back now, I have regrets about how I reacted. I was hurt...ashamed. And why? Because I had the courage to let someone in? Because I had the courage to trust yet again? Because I fell in love with someone who wasn't worthy of my love? Who didn't feel the same way about me as I did about them? Who may have felt that way but then changed their mind?

I did truly love them. I can look back now and direct my compass. I wish each one of them well. I pray that they find the happiness that they are looking for. Whatever that may be! I was not what they needed but that is not a reflection of who I am. It is a reflection on who they are and what they want. It isn't wrong! How they ended the relationship or how they treated me may have been wrong! But not wanting the same thing as me or changing their mind? That was not wrong.

It is truly an empowering moment when you can pray for the best for someone who has hurt you to the core. When you can still say, yes I love them enough to let them go with well wishes to find their true happiness. It doesn't mean that I would be dumb enough to ever take them back...I love myself too! :) I no longer harbor any ill feelings. I will always love them; they will always have a piece of my heart...I gave it to them...willingly. I do not need to be 'IN' love with them.

To my past, I wish you all the very best that life has to offer. I hold no grudges. I hold no anger. I am sorry for my reaction.

To my future, I have let go of my past. I am excited to see what you have in store for me!

As for today, it is time to live my life...today!