Needs

There are so many changes that happen during our lives. Some of them are small and some of them are big, but each one of them impacts our very existence. We can respond to these changes in many different ways, and how I respond will be completely different from how someone else may respond. Neither way is wrong! Neither way is right! Because we are different, we cannot expect everyone to respond the same way to the same situation.

I personally have had many changes in the past few years. Losing my son's father was by far the biggest. I was never meant to be an only parent. And yes...there is a difference between an only parent and a single parent. Even though we were divorced, we talked a couple of times a week. Raising a 17 almost 18 year old is difficult to begin with...raising one without his father makes is much more challenging. The struggle I have is not having that person to talk to about our child. Yes...you can talk to friends, parents, siblings...NOT the same. They don't know the child like parents do. Sometimes just the daily struggle is exhausting...but when there are issues to deal with it can sometimes become more than exhausting. You don't know where to turn...there isn't anyone to talk to. Sometimes I feel like I am a failure...I can't seem to do anything right in his eyes. I have no control. People on the outside looking in are judging because you don't call as much as you used to...you don't see them as often as you used to...they will make snide comments about it. What they don't realize is that you are struggling to just get through each day. You put on a smile and hope that you can fake it until you make it. You are now responsible for so much more and it weighs heavy on your shoulders. There is no 'get away' time or 'myself' time. You are working every day just to get through that day. 

Some days you just need that someone who will listen...let you vent...let you ramble.  Most days you don't need or want them to 'fix' it.  You just want someone to listen.  To take time out of there busy day and listen to you whine and cry.