Love - there are so many ways to love someone. You can love someone and not be 'IN' love with them. My personal explanation of love...it does not mean that it is reciprocated. If I love someone, I want what is best for them and in reality, most of the time, they do not believe it is me. I am okay with that. Now being okay with that does not mean that I do not hurt...that I do not wish...that I do not cry. What it means is that I want them to be happy! If their vision of happy does not equal my vision of happy, I still want their vision to come true...with or without me. When you love your children, it is the closest thing that we as mortals can come to unconditional love...agape love...selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. We cannot achieve this without being willing to sacrifice our own happiness for someone else's.
I am not saying that we need to continue in a relationship where someone cheats on us or is abusive (physically, emotionally or psychologically). I am not saying that we need to STAY or BE in a relationship at all. However, I truly feel that if we really loved the person, regardless of what they have done to us, we want them to be happy. To find what it is that they need to compliment (no one can complete someone else!) them.
I have loved. I have loved someone who was abusive. I have loved more than one who has cheated on me. I claimed to have loved them. I used the words but my actions did not always reflect what my words said. I was hurt and the hurt feelings over powered the love I once claimed to have. They hurt me; therefore, I wanted them to hurt. I let their actions modify my belief. As I reflect on my actions (reactions), I actually wonder if I really loved them? Did I know what love really was? Or was I just so wrapped up in their actions that I let it change my compass?
As I look back now, I have regrets about how I reacted. I was hurt...ashamed. And why? Because I had the courage to let someone in? Because I had the courage to trust yet again? Because I fell in love with someone who wasn't worthy of my love? Who didn't feel the same way about me as I did about them? Who may have felt that way but then changed their mind?
I did truly love them. I can look back now and direct my compass. I wish each one of them well. I pray that they find the happiness that they are looking for. Whatever that may be! I was not what they needed but that is not a reflection of who I am. It is a reflection on who they are and what they want. It isn't wrong! How they ended the relationship or how they treated me may have been wrong! But not wanting the same thing as me or changing their mind? That was not wrong.
It is truly an empowering moment when you can pray for the best for someone who has hurt you to the core. When you can still say, yes I love them enough to let them go with well wishes to find their true happiness. It doesn't mean that I would be dumb enough to ever take them back...I love myself too! :) I no longer harbor any ill feelings. I will always love them; they will always have a piece of my heart...I gave it to them...willingly. I do not need to be 'IN' love with them.
To my past, I wish you all the very best that life has to offer. I hold no grudges. I hold no anger. I am sorry for my reaction.
To my future, I have let go of my past. I am excited to see what you have in store for me!
As for today, it is time to live my life...today!
Monday, October 31, 2016
Monday, October 17, 2016
Some of us have given so much power to the people from our past that we are afraid of being loved again. After getting your heart broken, one of the biggest mistakes that you can make is, continuing to live your life like everyone else is out to break you as well. I know it takes time to heal. I know it takes time to pick up the pieces and rebuild again but everyone is not out to hurt you. If we continue to live our lives emotionally closed off from the world, there is a very big chance we will never get to experience real happiness. Being emotionally closed off will keep you safe because it will prevent you from getting close to anyone again but it will also turn you bitter. It will poison some of the other solid relationships with other people that you already have. Forgive who hurt you and take steps towards never reliving that pain again. Let it go so that you can let yourself grow into the person you were designed to be. Allow yourself the opportunity to fall in love again without holding on to the past. You will never see who is coming if you are always looking back at who just left.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
When I die
On the die I day a lot will happen.
A lot will change.
The world will be busy.
On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.
The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.
The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.
All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.
The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.
The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.
All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.
My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past; where they should have always been anyway.
Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over, my waistline or hair or frown lines, will fade away.
My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.
The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.
All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.
The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.
These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.
Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.
On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.
They will feel a void.
They will feel cheated.
They will not feel ready.
They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.
And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.
I know this from those I love and grieve over.
And so knowing this, while I am still alive, I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.
I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.
Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.
They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating 'NOW' with those who love you and want only to share it with you.
Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.
It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.
Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you’ve been led to believe matters, because on the day you die, the fact is that much of it simply won’t.
Yes, you and I will die one day.
But before that day comes: let us live.
(not all my words but I can't remember where I found it)
A lot will change.
The world will be busy.
On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.
The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.
The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.
All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.
The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.
The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.
All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.
My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past; where they should have always been anyway.
Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over, my waistline or hair or frown lines, will fade away.
My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.
The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.
All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.
The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.
These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.
Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.
On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.
They will feel a void.
They will feel cheated.
They will not feel ready.
They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.
And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.
I know this from those I love and grieve over.
And so knowing this, while I am still alive, I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.
I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.
Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.
They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating 'NOW' with those who love you and want only to share it with you.
Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.
It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.
Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you’ve been led to believe matters, because on the day you die, the fact is that much of it simply won’t.
Yes, you and I will die one day.
But before that day comes: let us live.
(not all my words but I can't remember where I found it)
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Take your time.
It's ok to take your time when you are getting to know someone. We have to get out of this mental state of rushing to find love like we are up against a deadline. The one thing to remember about finding love is, "it will take as long as it takes." You can't rush something that you want to last forever. Take your time conversating with people. Take your time finding out if you both have things in common. Learn to grow wiser with someone while you learn about them as a person and what they have been through. Sometimes the only reason why we end up being with the wrong person is because we didn't ask enough questions to raise any red flags. Even if you like someone, take your time inviting them into your life on a deeper level, because at the end of the day, you are responsible for who you share your time and your heart with.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Negative people
There are negative people all around us. Some feed on being negative and actually enjoy it...they enjoy making others feels bad or making them feel weak, their problem isn't with you, the issue usually lies within them.
Don't let them get to you. Don't give them power over you. Accept that, that is who they are and release the negativity and know you are strong enough to let it go.
Don't let them get to you. Don't give them power over you. Accept that, that is who they are and release the negativity and know you are strong enough to let it go.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Someday!
Someday, you’re going to meet a person who you don’t just think about spending your lonely nights with, but a person who you actually want to wake up next to, a person to share your mornings with.
This person will be different because they’re the only one, who can move past the unbreakable wall you’ve built around yourself, who can look past your exterior and break through all the bullshit you keep selling to the entire world.
They can look you in the eyes and know exactly when you’re lying or hiding something.
They can glance at you for a minute and know exactly what’s on your mind and what you’re feeling before you even begin to say it.
There will be a connection that you just can’t seem to understand, a connection that goes beyond time, space, and reason. And you’ll be happy in knowing that you’ve met someone who can share something as amazing as that with you.
And they will let you enter their world, just like you allowed them to enter yours.
You’ll talk about all the ambitions and dreams that you had never revealed to anyone else before. You’ll open up about the fears and disappointments that you didn’t even know existed. You will reveal all your mistakes and insecurities, only to find comfort in the fact that this one person beside you, will never judge you for any of it.
Someday, you’re going to find a person who knows how to break through every wall you ever built and leave you with the kind of raw feelings and emotions that you never even knew you were capable of experiencing.
And you’re going to look at that person and know very well that they’re not perfect, that they have their own set of flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities. But you’ll find happiness in seeing how perfectly your flaws complement each other, in a way that everything starts to make complete sense.
Someday, you’ll realize that you’ve started to worry for this one person in your life, after years of only worrying about your own self.
You’ll find yourself getting angry to any person who has done them wrong.
You’ll find yourself feeling all these new things through another person’s soul. And while you will never be able to take away their pain or their past, it’s their future that you’re more concerned about now. And you realize that previously, your own future was the only one that actually mattered to you.
Someday, you’ll realize that if anything were to ever happen to this person, you would end up being a complete and utter mess. You wouldn’t be able to recover, to find someone who could replace them, to stop being sad about their absence in your life.
You’ll realize that they really matter to you.
You’ll realize that they always have.
And you’ll realize that they always will.
Someday, you’ll find yourself reminiscing over every tiny little detail about them- from the first time you met them and the very first words you spoke with each other to all the amazing memories that followed.
And the memories will start to surprise you. Because you’ll think about how you’ve lived a good and long life, seen so many different faces along the way and had so many different interactions. And yet, this person and all the interactions you’ve had with them are the only ones you remember with such intricate details.
And this relationship will be something that no one around you seems to truly understand. But the thing is they don’t have to understand it. They don’t have to accept it. They don’t even have to like it.
Because you already have.
So you’ll muster up the courage to finally break free from your wall, to let all your inhibitions go, and say those three magic words! And for the first time in your life, you won’t hold back because for the first time in your life, you’re looking at a person with complete confidence in your heart, a person who isn’t going to let you down.
Someday, you’re going to meet a person who simply feels like home.
This person will be different because they’re the only one, who can move past the unbreakable wall you’ve built around yourself, who can look past your exterior and break through all the bullshit you keep selling to the entire world.
They can look you in the eyes and know exactly when you’re lying or hiding something.
They can glance at you for a minute and know exactly what’s on your mind and what you’re feeling before you even begin to say it.
There will be a connection that you just can’t seem to understand, a connection that goes beyond time, space, and reason. And you’ll be happy in knowing that you’ve met someone who can share something as amazing as that with you.
And they will let you enter their world, just like you allowed them to enter yours.
You’ll talk about all the ambitions and dreams that you had never revealed to anyone else before. You’ll open up about the fears and disappointments that you didn’t even know existed. You will reveal all your mistakes and insecurities, only to find comfort in the fact that this one person beside you, will never judge you for any of it.
Someday, you’re going to find a person who knows how to break through every wall you ever built and leave you with the kind of raw feelings and emotions that you never even knew you were capable of experiencing.
And you’re going to look at that person and know very well that they’re not perfect, that they have their own set of flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities. But you’ll find happiness in seeing how perfectly your flaws complement each other, in a way that everything starts to make complete sense.
Someday, you’ll realize that you’ve started to worry for this one person in your life, after years of only worrying about your own self.
You’ll find yourself getting angry to any person who has done them wrong.
You’ll find yourself feeling all these new things through another person’s soul. And while you will never be able to take away their pain or their past, it’s their future that you’re more concerned about now. And you realize that previously, your own future was the only one that actually mattered to you.
Someday, you’ll realize that if anything were to ever happen to this person, you would end up being a complete and utter mess. You wouldn’t be able to recover, to find someone who could replace them, to stop being sad about their absence in your life.
You’ll realize that they really matter to you.
You’ll realize that they always have.
And you’ll realize that they always will.
Someday, you’ll find yourself reminiscing over every tiny little detail about them- from the first time you met them and the very first words you spoke with each other to all the amazing memories that followed.
And the memories will start to surprise you. Because you’ll think about how you’ve lived a good and long life, seen so many different faces along the way and had so many different interactions. And yet, this person and all the interactions you’ve had with them are the only ones you remember with such intricate details.
And this relationship will be something that no one around you seems to truly understand. But the thing is they don’t have to understand it. They don’t have to accept it. They don’t even have to like it.
Because you already have.
So you’ll muster up the courage to finally break free from your wall, to let all your inhibitions go, and say those three magic words! And for the first time in your life, you won’t hold back because for the first time in your life, you’re looking at a person with complete confidence in your heart, a person who isn’t going to let you down.
Someday, you’re going to meet a person who simply feels like home.
Someone!
I just want to see the beauty in love again. I don't want to let the negative experiences of the past to control how I give and receive love for the rest of my life. Sometimes you have to move on and believe that there is better for you out there even when you can't really see it. We have to learn how to take our pain and turn it into purpose. We have to learn how to grow through what we go through, so that we can be better individuals in life. Stop giving so much power to your heartbreaks. Never give anyone so much power over you that, they start making you think about yourself in negative ways. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you have to have a mindset that your presence alone will lift the spirits of any room that you walk into. Someone out there is waiting to appreciate your love. Someone out there is waiting to meet a person like you, so that they can show you what it's really like to be treated the right way. Someone out there is waiting to build a life with you and give you everything you need when it comes to love.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Needs
There are so many changes that happen during our lives. Some of them are small and some of them are big, but each one of them impacts our very existence. We can respond to these changes in many different ways, and how I respond will be completely different from how someone else may respond. Neither way is wrong! Neither way is right! Because we are different, we cannot expect everyone to respond the same way to the same situation.
I personally have had many changes in the past few years. Losing my son's father was by far the biggest. I was never meant to be an only parent. And yes...there is a difference between an only parent and a single parent. Even though we were divorced, we talked a couple of times a week. Raising a 17 almost 18 year old is difficult to begin with...raising one without his father makes is much more challenging. The struggle I have is not having that person to talk to about our child. Yes...you can talk to friends, parents, siblings...NOT the same. They don't know the child like parents do. Sometimes just the daily struggle is exhausting...but when there are issues to deal with it can sometimes become more than exhausting. You don't know where to turn...there isn't anyone to talk to. Sometimes I feel like I am a failure...I can't seem to do anything right in his eyes. I have no control. People on the outside looking in are judging because you don't call as much as you used to...you don't see them as often as you used to...they will make snide comments about it. What they don't realize is that you are struggling to just get through each day. You put on a smile and hope that you can fake it until you make it. You are now responsible for so much more and it weighs heavy on your shoulders. There is no 'get away' time or 'myself' time. You are working every day just to get through that day.
Some days you just need that someone who will listen...let you vent...let you ramble. Most days you don't need or want them to 'fix' it. You just want someone to listen. To take time out of there busy day and listen to you whine and cry.
Moving Forward
I have started making some MAJOR changes in my life. How I look at things...what I read...how I feel...what I think. I am surprised and pleased with the changes I see and feel in such a short time. The decisions I have made and the ease at which these decisions have been made. My attitude is one of gratitude...one of peace. I am not rushing to find someone or something. I do not need to replace what I have lost. I am happy with myself. The moment I typed that last phrase I felt this little pitter patter of my heart in the knowledge that what I just wrote was true. I am happy with myself. Life is easy. Easier than I was making it. I am reading a variety of books on how to improve myself...how to date...how to succeed in my dreams. Something I need to remember is sometimes people come into your life to be "teachers". Sometimes they're not meant to be your lover or your husband or your friend - sometimes, they're meant to be a teacher. And the life lesson they are teaching you, while very painful. . .is also VERY valuable as well. Because through your painful experience, this person, this teacher, has actually taught you what NOT to tolerate, what NOT to do and in doing so. . .actually helps you better determine what you need, what you SHOULD do and how you should expect to be treated by others. So believe it or not - a lot of good can come from these painful experiences, if you look at the individual who hurt you as a "teacher" of sorts. You may not have known what you wanted or needed or were worthy of previous to meeting them, but after your experience with them - they have helped you narrow down what you do want, what you are worthy of and what you need from another individual as your partner.
"People come into your life for a reason (teacher), a season (guide) or a lifetime (soul mate)."
I am learning. I am making lists. I am changing.
"People come into your life for a reason (teacher), a season (guide) or a lifetime (soul mate)."
I am learning. I am making lists. I am changing.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Things to Remember!
It is obvious, but any relationship without regular interaction and communication is going to have problems, especially when there is a lack of commitment. Don't wast time with someone who only wants you around when it is convenient for them. You shouldn't have to force someone to make space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you they will gladly create space for you. Being in a relationship with someone who overlooks your worth is not loyalty, it is stupidity. Never beg someone for attention. Know you self-worth and move on if you must.
Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be - that you've made mistakes in the past, learned from then and moved past them. They may not be able to stand the fact that you are growing and moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you. Do not help them by acknowledging their negative behavior. Keep moving forward. Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy! It serves NO purpose. If someone continuously judges you by your past and holds it against you, you might have to leave them behind.
A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air flowing and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this kind of unrestricted environment. You can come and go as you please, but you choose to stay because where you are is where you want to be! If you want to be a part of someone's life, all the open doors and windows in the world won't make you leave.
If you allow others to define your dreams and abilities, then you enable them to hold you back. What you are capable of achieving is not a function of what other people like is possible for you. What you are capable of achieving depends on what you choose to do with your time and energy. Look beyond the presumptions and mental limitations of others; connect with your own best vision of YOUR life. Life is an open-ended journey. What you achieve comes from what you expect to achieve and your you work to achieve. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Keep living YOUR truth. The only people who will get mad at you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.
Love is a verb, not a noun. It is ACTIVE in all relationships. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is also a behavior among friends and family. If someone lies to you, they are un-lovingly disrespecting you and your relationship. When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you have a lot in common with this person - you are BOTH lying and being un-loving to YOU!! Bottom line: Those who avoid the truth and tell you only what you want to hear, do so for their own benefit, not yours!
The negative people i n your life don't just behave negatively towards you, but towards everyone they interact with. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality - their own issues. Even if they say something to you that seem personal - even if they insult you directly - it likely has zero to do with you. This is important to remember because whet these negative people say and do shouldn't be taken to heart. Although you don't have control over what they say and do, you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their venomous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Positive things happen when you distance yourself from negative people. Doing so doesn't mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.
A little bit of envy is OK, but when someone is excessively envious of what you have, there is a good chance what they really want it to take it from you. Excessive envy doesn't tell you how much someone admires you, it tells you how much they dislike themselves. If you can, try to help lift them up but also be careful that they don't pull you down. Oftentimes no amount of love, or promises, or proof from you will ever be enough to make them feel better about themselves. For the broken pieces they carry are pieces they must mend for themselves. Happiness, after all, is an inside job!
Truth be told no human being is superior! No race, size or shape is inferior. If you judge others by their skin color, body size, and their outer beauty, you will miss EVERYTHING about who they really are!! It is amazing the quality of people you will learn about and meet in this world if you can simply get past the fact that lots of people are not dressing and living the way you do. People who motivate you to judge or hate others are as bad as bad company gets!
Spend time with people who see you the way you are and not as they wish to think you are. Spend even more time with those who truly know about you and who love and respect you anyway!! If someone expects you to be someone you are not, take a step back. It is wiser to lose relationships over being who are than to keep them intact by acting like someone you are not!! It is easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity. It is easier to fill an empty space within you life where someone else used to be than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be!
Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be - that you've made mistakes in the past, learned from then and moved past them. They may not be able to stand the fact that you are growing and moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you. Do not help them by acknowledging their negative behavior. Keep moving forward. Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy! It serves NO purpose. If someone continuously judges you by your past and holds it against you, you might have to leave them behind.
A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air flowing and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this kind of unrestricted environment. You can come and go as you please, but you choose to stay because where you are is where you want to be! If you want to be a part of someone's life, all the open doors and windows in the world won't make you leave.
If you allow others to define your dreams and abilities, then you enable them to hold you back. What you are capable of achieving is not a function of what other people like is possible for you. What you are capable of achieving depends on what you choose to do with your time and energy. Look beyond the presumptions and mental limitations of others; connect with your own best vision of YOUR life. Life is an open-ended journey. What you achieve comes from what you expect to achieve and your you work to achieve. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Keep living YOUR truth. The only people who will get mad at you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.
Love is a verb, not a noun. It is ACTIVE in all relationships. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is also a behavior among friends and family. If someone lies to you, they are un-lovingly disrespecting you and your relationship. When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you have a lot in common with this person - you are BOTH lying and being un-loving to YOU!! Bottom line: Those who avoid the truth and tell you only what you want to hear, do so for their own benefit, not yours!
The negative people i n your life don't just behave negatively towards you, but towards everyone they interact with. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality - their own issues. Even if they say something to you that seem personal - even if they insult you directly - it likely has zero to do with you. This is important to remember because whet these negative people say and do shouldn't be taken to heart. Although you don't have control over what they say and do, you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their venomous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Positive things happen when you distance yourself from negative people. Doing so doesn't mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.
A little bit of envy is OK, but when someone is excessively envious of what you have, there is a good chance what they really want it to take it from you. Excessive envy doesn't tell you how much someone admires you, it tells you how much they dislike themselves. If you can, try to help lift them up but also be careful that they don't pull you down. Oftentimes no amount of love, or promises, or proof from you will ever be enough to make them feel better about themselves. For the broken pieces they carry are pieces they must mend for themselves. Happiness, after all, is an inside job!
Truth be told no human being is superior! No race, size or shape is inferior. If you judge others by their skin color, body size, and their outer beauty, you will miss EVERYTHING about who they really are!! It is amazing the quality of people you will learn about and meet in this world if you can simply get past the fact that lots of people are not dressing and living the way you do. People who motivate you to judge or hate others are as bad as bad company gets!
Spend time with people who see you the way you are and not as they wish to think you are. Spend even more time with those who truly know about you and who love and respect you anyway!! If someone expects you to be someone you are not, take a step back. It is wiser to lose relationships over being who are than to keep them intact by acting like someone you are not!! It is easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity. It is easier to fill an empty space within you life where someone else used to be than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be!
You Are More
Today is quick and easy...it is all I can handle
I feel in love with this song I heard by Tenth Avenue North a few months ago and came across it again today. I truly needed to find this and read it again. It is where I am today!
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Truly...I am more than the choices I have made! I am more than the sum of my past mistakes! I am more than the problems I create!! This is NOT about what I feel...It is about what HE felt to forgive me and what HE felt to make me loved!
His Amazing Grace!!
And so begins my journey!
I feel in love with this song I heard by Tenth Avenue North a few months ago and came across it again today. I truly needed to find this and read it again. It is where I am today!
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try
But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.
Truly...I am more than the choices I have made! I am more than the sum of my past mistakes! I am more than the problems I create!! This is NOT about what I feel...It is about what HE felt to forgive me and what HE felt to make me loved!
His Amazing Grace!!
And so begins my journey!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Days gone by...
Have you ever thought about the past? I have really been thinking about my school years lately. Grade school, junior high, high school, friendships, first crushes...
Do you ever wonder what happened to someone? Who impacted you...good or bad? What teachers do you remember?
It's funny what we remember and how different someone else remembers the exact same thing. I remember being stabbed in the leg with a pencil in fourth grade because I wouldn't let a boy (I had a crush on) cheat off of my science paper. I remember the teacher grabbing the boy by the ears and putting him inside of a big garbage can. Back then it was acceptable...now the boy would have been suspended and the teacher may have been fired. How times have changed!
I remember being afraid all the time, being afraid no one liked me, being afraid of being teased all the time, being afraid to ride the bus. I would have rather walked across town than ride the bus. I look back and now realize that it was more likely my home life that was making afraid of everything. It's funny to look back and remember a girl who always picked on me. She stood behind me in choir and always poked at me. She actually tore a hole in one of sweaters. I remember crying about it and then being teased more. What she didn't know was that we couldn't afford new clothing and this was the first new sweater I had in years...my grandmother had bought it for me. She didn't know that my home life included emotional, mental and physical abuse and that by coming home with that torn sweater, I was going to be beat. I didn't learn until later in life that she too came from an abusive home. The only difference was she came from a wealthy abusive home and I came from a very poor abusive home.
This revelation so to speak was a major changing point in my life. As a child growing up, we all had insecurities! Those insecurities play on what we do and who we are, and they come from our home life. What we don't know is what the other person's home life is like.
Just about everyone knew that my father was the town drunk! What they probably didn't know was he was a very abusive drunk. They didn't know that I would rather be anywhere than at home. I loved staying overnight with others but I was always worried about leaving my little sister at home...alone...so I rarely stayed overnight anywhere. If I did get permission to stay somewhere, I was always in trouble the next day.
I was so jealous of everyone else's life. I never really thought that anyone could have it as bad as I did. Looking back, I know some of them did.
I was at a Bible retreat a few weekends ago and one of the speakers was talking about looking the best you can. She was beautiful...long,thick beautiful blonde hair, very petite, beautiful blue eyes...she was talking about Colossians 3 and how to clothe yourself...for you and for the Lord. Very interesting study. She was great at what she did. But the one thing I remember the most is what she told us at the end of her study. She told us what we were all thinking...how could someone so beautiful have any of the problems we had. She could fit into all the nice clothing, she didn't have to do anything with her hair it was naturally wavy and beautiful...what we didn't know was that she was born with her insides on the outside! Her stomach was nothing but scars. She needed to live in a certain city because that was were her specialist was and when she got constipated, they had to surgically remove it...all the time!
We never know what is going on in the life's of others. They may come from a wealthy family but still have problems...maybe even worse than your own. Don't judge people to quickly...you don't know the whole story! And don't be envious of others...there problems may be worse than yours! You just never know!
Do you ever wonder what happened to someone? Who impacted you...good or bad? What teachers do you remember?
It's funny what we remember and how different someone else remembers the exact same thing. I remember being stabbed in the leg with a pencil in fourth grade because I wouldn't let a boy (I had a crush on) cheat off of my science paper. I remember the teacher grabbing the boy by the ears and putting him inside of a big garbage can. Back then it was acceptable...now the boy would have been suspended and the teacher may have been fired. How times have changed!
I remember being afraid all the time, being afraid no one liked me, being afraid of being teased all the time, being afraid to ride the bus. I would have rather walked across town than ride the bus. I look back and now realize that it was more likely my home life that was making afraid of everything. It's funny to look back and remember a girl who always picked on me. She stood behind me in choir and always poked at me. She actually tore a hole in one of sweaters. I remember crying about it and then being teased more. What she didn't know was that we couldn't afford new clothing and this was the first new sweater I had in years...my grandmother had bought it for me. She didn't know that my home life included emotional, mental and physical abuse and that by coming home with that torn sweater, I was going to be beat. I didn't learn until later in life that she too came from an abusive home. The only difference was she came from a wealthy abusive home and I came from a very poor abusive home.
This revelation so to speak was a major changing point in my life. As a child growing up, we all had insecurities! Those insecurities play on what we do and who we are, and they come from our home life. What we don't know is what the other person's home life is like.
Just about everyone knew that my father was the town drunk! What they probably didn't know was he was a very abusive drunk. They didn't know that I would rather be anywhere than at home. I loved staying overnight with others but I was always worried about leaving my little sister at home...alone...so I rarely stayed overnight anywhere. If I did get permission to stay somewhere, I was always in trouble the next day.
I was so jealous of everyone else's life. I never really thought that anyone could have it as bad as I did. Looking back, I know some of them did.
I was at a Bible retreat a few weekends ago and one of the speakers was talking about looking the best you can. She was beautiful...long,thick beautiful blonde hair, very petite, beautiful blue eyes...she was talking about Colossians 3 and how to clothe yourself...for you and for the Lord. Very interesting study. She was great at what she did. But the one thing I remember the most is what she told us at the end of her study. She told us what we were all thinking...how could someone so beautiful have any of the problems we had. She could fit into all the nice clothing, she didn't have to do anything with her hair it was naturally wavy and beautiful...what we didn't know was that she was born with her insides on the outside! Her stomach was nothing but scars. She needed to live in a certain city because that was were her specialist was and when she got constipated, they had to surgically remove it...all the time!
We never know what is going on in the life's of others. They may come from a wealthy family but still have problems...maybe even worse than your own. Don't judge people to quickly...you don't know the whole story! And don't be envious of others...there problems may be worse than yours! You just never know!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Yes...I do...Still think of you!
Does it get easier? Does the sadness ever completely go away? Does that longing to talk to you, hold you, spend time with you ever stop? NO!
The anniversary of your death is two years ago on this DAY...Monday! The actual date is August 13th! Either way you dice it, I still miss you!
A few days ago I was sad and couldn't figure out why...subconsciosly you are never far away. Sometimes I try to block you out so that I can move on with my life...but you are never far away. I dream about you. I think about you. I miss you!!
Yesterday in church I couldn't help but let the tears roll down my face. The pastor was talking about the desert and the fact that sometimes He will not take us on the easiest route but the route that He feels is best for us. Just like when He was leading His people from Egypt...17 God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. Exodus 13:17-18. And then...21 By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. 22 Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. Exodus 13:21 -22.
Can you imagine knowing that the shortest way is to the north but the cloud you are to follow is heading south? A trip that should take you 2 - 3 weeks takes you 40 years?
I know that the Lord has a plan for me. I know that He will not always take me on the shortest or the easiest route but I know that He has something for me to learn or gain...probably Faith in Him.
This time of year brings back so many memories...times I missed with you, times of hurt, pain and anger for the man who hurt us both so badly...pain, hurt and anger that I just can't seem to figure out a way to let go of...You found a way...I miss your strength, I miss your laughter, I miss you!!
The anniversary of your death is two years ago on this DAY...Monday! The actual date is August 13th! Either way you dice it, I still miss you!
A few days ago I was sad and couldn't figure out why...subconsciosly you are never far away. Sometimes I try to block you out so that I can move on with my life...but you are never far away. I dream about you. I think about you. I miss you!!
Yesterday in church I couldn't help but let the tears roll down my face. The pastor was talking about the desert and the fact that sometimes He will not take us on the easiest route but the route that He feels is best for us. Just like when He was leading His people from Egypt...17 God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. Exodus 13:17-18. And then...21 By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. 22 Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. Exodus 13:21 -22.
Can you imagine knowing that the shortest way is to the north but the cloud you are to follow is heading south? A trip that should take you 2 - 3 weeks takes you 40 years?
I know that the Lord has a plan for me. I know that He will not always take me on the shortest or the easiest route but I know that He has something for me to learn or gain...probably Faith in Him.
This time of year brings back so many memories...times I missed with you, times of hurt, pain and anger for the man who hurt us both so badly...pain, hurt and anger that I just can't seem to figure out a way to let go of...You found a way...I miss your strength, I miss your laughter, I miss you!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Time Flies...
Tax day is almost over! Did you get your taxes in?? I really need to update the blog with some photos but I needed to take some time for myself...so I did!! I scrapped. We had my sister, her boyfriend and his kids over last weekend (Easter) for Tyler's birthday and for Easter...the kids had a wonderful time and of course I had the camera out. The boys were at the table decorating eggs and I got this shot of them all together so I couldn't resist scrapping it with these great Bo Bunny papers. I love the Beau Jardin line. It is so fun and easy to work with...coordinates perfectly. I never used to use patterned paper...wow have I changed.
Anyways, I just wanted to share this quick layout. You can still get the Beau Jardin at One Single Seed...the link is over there on the side...it is 40% off so get on over before they are out!!
Anyways, I just wanted to share this quick layout. You can still get the Beau Jardin at One Single Seed...the link is over there on the side...it is 40% off so get on over before they are out!!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Not quite as tired...
Sometimes I think that the good Lord gives you days that are meant to bring you down in order for you to appreciate other days.
Last night I finally got a good night's sleep. This morning I awoke with a whole new attitude. I think the Bible study I am doing right now got me in a funk yesterday. Now this is not a bad thing; sometimes you just need to 'cleanse' your system from all the guilt you carry around. And sometimes that means that you need to have a downer day. You think about what is upseting you, you pray about it, you pray for forgiveness, you give it to the Lord, and then and only then can you start to move on from it. I am not saying that I will never feel guilty about the same things again; I am saying that each day will now be easier than the last because each day I give my guilt and debt to the Lord and I ask for my debt to be forgiven and it is!! That is the part that I was having problems with. I know that He can and will forgive me; but, in not forgiving myself and continually feeling guilty, I am NOT trusting Him. So, each day I am asking Him to help me let go!
Yesterday was a day of purging! Thanks for all the hugs and for letting me vent! I know it's my blog and I can do what I want but it's nice to know so many people care.
Last night I finally got a good night's sleep. This morning I awoke with a whole new attitude. I think the Bible study I am doing right now got me in a funk yesterday. Now this is not a bad thing; sometimes you just need to 'cleanse' your system from all the guilt you carry around. And sometimes that means that you need to have a downer day. You think about what is upseting you, you pray about it, you pray for forgiveness, you give it to the Lord, and then and only then can you start to move on from it. I am not saying that I will never feel guilty about the same things again; I am saying that each day will now be easier than the last because each day I give my guilt and debt to the Lord and I ask for my debt to be forgiven and it is!! That is the part that I was having problems with. I know that He can and will forgive me; but, in not forgiving myself and continually feeling guilty, I am NOT trusting Him. So, each day I am asking Him to help me let go!
Yesterday was a day of purging! Thanks for all the hugs and for letting me vent! I know it's my blog and I can do what I want but it's nice to know so many people care.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tired...
of alot of things. So today I am going to vent!
I am tired of snow...Yep me!! I love snow but I am officially sick of it. I do not want the hot summer but I want the snow gone!
I am tired of being tired...daylight savings is kicking my butt! I love the extra light at night but getting out of bed to run on the treadmill at 5:30 in the morning...it's just too dark. I know that I will get used to it but it throughs my whole system off. I am hungry at weird times and I am not hungry at meal times. I wake up hungry...normally I don't eat until 10:30 in the morning.
I am tired of being over weight...I have been working my tail off on the treadmill every day. (I give myself one day off a week.) I have cut back on food intake. I have increase exercise. I have given up chocolate and candy! Nothing in over a week! I have not lost; I have not gained. I hate plateaus.
I am tired of dealing with rude people. Drivers, sales people, reporters, customers...ugh! They just don't understand that you get a lot farther with me by being nice than by being rude.
I am tired of being bored...I know that this is a lull before the storm but I don't like not having enough to do at work right now and it drives me nuts to sit here not have enough to do. I feel guilty!
I am tired of feeling guilty! Guilty about not having enough work to do...guilty about my son's sadness over the divorce...guilty about living in sin...guilty about pushing my son too hard...guilty about not being a good friend...
guilty about the lack of relationship I have with my biological father...guilty about not looking for my sister sooner...guilty about way too many things.
Okay, now that I have that off of my chest it is time to move get over it and move on.
I am happy too! But I will leave that for tomorrow!
I am tired of snow...Yep me!! I love snow but I am officially sick of it. I do not want the hot summer but I want the snow gone!
I am tired of being tired...daylight savings is kicking my butt! I love the extra light at night but getting out of bed to run on the treadmill at 5:30 in the morning...it's just too dark. I know that I will get used to it but it throughs my whole system off. I am hungry at weird times and I am not hungry at meal times. I wake up hungry...normally I don't eat until 10:30 in the morning.
I am tired of being over weight...I have been working my tail off on the treadmill every day. (I give myself one day off a week.) I have cut back on food intake. I have increase exercise. I have given up chocolate and candy! Nothing in over a week! I have not lost; I have not gained. I hate plateaus.
I am tired of dealing with rude people. Drivers, sales people, reporters, customers...ugh! They just don't understand that you get a lot farther with me by being nice than by being rude.
I am tired of being bored...I know that this is a lull before the storm but I don't like not having enough to do at work right now and it drives me nuts to sit here not have enough to do. I feel guilty!
I am tired of feeling guilty! Guilty about not having enough work to do...guilty about my son's sadness over the divorce...guilty about living in sin...guilty about pushing my son too hard...guilty about not being a good friend...
guilty about the lack of relationship I have with my biological father...guilty about not looking for my sister sooner...guilty about way too many things.
Okay, now that I have that off of my chest it is time to move get over it and move on.
I am happy too! But I will leave that for tomorrow!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I have to share...
I have been trying to help out at Treasures to Scrap by not only doing my paper layouts but helping with digital layouts too. Treasures to Scrap has some new designers and let me tell you they totally rock. I was lucky enough to be able to work with Monna Lainson's Autumn Blossom and look what I created:
This kit the most beautiful papers I have ever seen and the detail in the elements... all I can say is AWESOME. And on top of all of that the price is fabulous. You really do need to check this kit out.
HERE
This kit the most beautiful papers I have ever seen and the detail in the elements... all I can say is AWESOME. And on top of all of that the price is fabulous. You really do need to check this kit out.
HERE
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I know....I know....
Wow! All I can say is I am sorry! Time seems to have just been slipping away. Updating anything has been impossible. Well life is never boring around here. My health has been the issue this time! It all started a few months back with a urinary infection. I got some medicine to stop the burning (it turned my urine bright orange) and an anti-biotic (it turned my urine bright red) and believe it or not the colors did not mix they swirled. After that I got eczema on my hands. I had never had it before and it was very painful! They finally put me on a type of steroid that can only be used for 5 days or your skin will fall off! Sheesh...my skin was already peeling like crazy and itching and...what the heck was causing all of this??
Pre-menopause!!!! Can you flipping believe it!! Seems that hormone changes can cause a lot of problems!! And do you think I was done yet? NOPE!! After all of this stuff is cleared up, I get my period (first time in 3 months) and I can honestly say that one...I didn't miss it...two...it was so hard that I would stand up and have a mess running down my leg, even if I had just been in the bathroom 10 minutes earlier (sorry guys!)...third...it lasted for over 3 weeks.
I was light headed (more than normal), sick to my stomach, and I had pain in my abdomen so bad. Yes I finally went to the doctor. They put me on loratab and set up an appointment for an ultrasound. The loratab didn't even cut the pain. They changed it to a type of Morphine. Okay, this worked really well but I don't remember much and I'm not sure I functioned correctly. ROFL! They did both an external and internal ultrasound. Seems I have some cysts on my ovaries (this is what is causing the pain) Did you know that cysts are common with hormone changes! YEAH!! Another two maybe three years of this!! Okay, so that's not all. My endometrium lining is very abnormally shaped. I need to see a gynocologist and have a endometrial biopsy.
Okay for those of you who don't like details STOP reading here.
This biopsy was so painful!! First thing they did was a regular pap. (you know the drill. Yuck!) Then they take another lovely piece of equipment to fold back the outer edge of the cervix. The doctor says, "this will be a little painful...it will pinch." Yeah right. Have you ever been pinched by something that feels like needles?? Okay, so now they want to put this soft, straw-like device (pipelle) to suction a small sample of lining but they can't get it in because my cervix is to small...yeah! So, I am still laying there all hooked up and the doctor has to call a nurse in to go and get a dialator. Okay now I am really uncomfortable. He get the dialator in there (okay can we get anything else into this small area!!) and can't get me to dialate even with this device. Finally after about 1/2 hour the pipelle is suctioning a sample of the lining. (Again, I am told that I will feel a small pinching!) Okay, I am still feeling the needles from the cervical thing...and the dialator should have been used with either a general or regional anesthesia ( I was given nothing!) and now I am being told I will feel another small pinch!!! By this time the tears are rolling down my face. And the doctor says, "It really shouldn't be hurting that bad." UGH!!!
The pap and the biopsy came back fine. But I will continue to have these problems because...yep, hormone changes!! Pre-menopause!!
Anyways, I have been exhausted. I have taken a leave of absence from Treasures To Scrap (thanks for understanding T) and other than going to work, I really have not been doing much of anything (other than driving Tyler to deliver popcorn!)
Today is one of the first days in a long time that I feel like I am getting my life back. I finally slept without pain killers and woke up not feeling hung over. I am getting a little tired now but wanted to let everyone know what has been going on cuz I really haven't even responded to e-mails much.
Michele - I miss you and am sorry I didn't get to see you when you came back for the funeral (Heck! I didn't even get a card and that's not like me! Sorry is all I can say and ask for forgiveness!!)
I am on the mend and am excited that I will have two weeks off at Christmas. I will be off of work from the 19th of December to January 5th! I am not sure what I will do with all that time...my mom says I should paint my bathroom so of course...I won't! ROFL!!
I am off to bed.
Thanks for all the prayers!
A
Pre-menopause!!!! Can you flipping believe it!! Seems that hormone changes can cause a lot of problems!! And do you think I was done yet? NOPE!! After all of this stuff is cleared up, I get my period (first time in 3 months) and I can honestly say that one...I didn't miss it...two...it was so hard that I would stand up and have a mess running down my leg, even if I had just been in the bathroom 10 minutes earlier (sorry guys!)...third...it lasted for over 3 weeks.
I was light headed (more than normal), sick to my stomach, and I had pain in my abdomen so bad. Yes I finally went to the doctor. They put me on loratab and set up an appointment for an ultrasound. The loratab didn't even cut the pain. They changed it to a type of Morphine. Okay, this worked really well but I don't remember much and I'm not sure I functioned correctly. ROFL! They did both an external and internal ultrasound. Seems I have some cysts on my ovaries (this is what is causing the pain) Did you know that cysts are common with hormone changes! YEAH!! Another two maybe three years of this!! Okay, so that's not all. My endometrium lining is very abnormally shaped. I need to see a gynocologist and have a endometrial biopsy.
Okay for those of you who don't like details STOP reading here.
This biopsy was so painful!! First thing they did was a regular pap. (you know the drill. Yuck!) Then they take another lovely piece of equipment to fold back the outer edge of the cervix. The doctor says, "this will be a little painful...it will pinch." Yeah right. Have you ever been pinched by something that feels like needles?? Okay, so now they want to put this soft, straw-like device (pipelle) to suction a small sample of lining but they can't get it in because my cervix is to small...yeah! So, I am still laying there all hooked up and the doctor has to call a nurse in to go and get a dialator. Okay now I am really uncomfortable. He get the dialator in there (okay can we get anything else into this small area!!) and can't get me to dialate even with this device. Finally after about 1/2 hour the pipelle is suctioning a sample of the lining. (Again, I am told that I will feel a small pinching!) Okay, I am still feeling the needles from the cervical thing...and the dialator should have been used with either a general or regional anesthesia ( I was given nothing!) and now I am being told I will feel another small pinch!!! By this time the tears are rolling down my face. And the doctor says, "It really shouldn't be hurting that bad." UGH!!!
The pap and the biopsy came back fine. But I will continue to have these problems because...yep, hormone changes!! Pre-menopause!!
Anyways, I have been exhausted. I have taken a leave of absence from Treasures To Scrap (thanks for understanding T) and other than going to work, I really have not been doing much of anything (other than driving Tyler to deliver popcorn!)
Today is one of the first days in a long time that I feel like I am getting my life back. I finally slept without pain killers and woke up not feeling hung over. I am getting a little tired now but wanted to let everyone know what has been going on cuz I really haven't even responded to e-mails much.
Michele - I miss you and am sorry I didn't get to see you when you came back for the funeral (Heck! I didn't even get a card and that's not like me! Sorry is all I can say and ask for forgiveness!!)
I am on the mend and am excited that I will have two weeks off at Christmas. I will be off of work from the 19th of December to January 5th! I am not sure what I will do with all that time...my mom says I should paint my bathroom so of course...I won't! ROFL!!
I am off to bed.
Thanks for all the prayers!
A
Thursday, October 9, 2008
New Layouts Finally!!
WoooHooo! Can you believe it? I am back on the paper team at Treasure's To Scrap. I am so excited. I loved doing digital layout and Treasure's To Scrap is looking for new digital team members of all types...beginners to advanced. Get on over there and apply...I would love to see some of my friends on the site with me!!
I had fun creating this simple layout of me being stuck in the mud. It took forever to get "un" stuck!! But I had so much fun. This summer was by far the best summer for wheeling. I can say that I would rather be 4-wheeling than anything else including scrapping. It is my first choice for things to do.
I had fun creating this simple layout of me being stuck in the mud. It took forever to get "un" stuck!! But I had so much fun. This summer was by far the best summer for wheeling. I can say that I would rather be 4-wheeling than anything else including scrapping. It is my first choice for things to do.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Oh My!
I can't believe it has already been over a month since my last post. Things here have been sooo busy. I love, love, love my new job. Working 8 - 5 Mon - Fri is not bad at all. I get up in the morning smile and just about everyone who knows me says that I have a 'sparkle' back. I have been so busy between the new job and Tyler's baseball that I haven't had much time to anything else.
We took a few days on around the 4th and went to the cabin. We had an awesome day with friends and then watched the fireworks that we all pitched in and bought. It really was amazing. Here are a couple of layouts that I did digitally from photos I took the night of the 4th.
We took a few days on around the 4th and went to the cabin. We had an awesome day with friends and then watched the fireworks that we all pitched in and bought. It really was amazing. Here are a couple of layouts that I did digitally from photos I took the night of the 4th.
Baseball has kept us very busy...here is a layout I did of Tyler for baseball.
And here is one more layout that I did of my friend Katie's beautiful little girl. I love taking pictures of her
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Well we are off to go fishing for a few hours. I will try to update again soon!
Hugs to everyone! I miss you all!
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