I made a promise...

As most of you know, my sister passed away from Breast Cancer this past August. A battle she fought to the very end. A few days ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with a very rare form of Breast Cancer call IBC (Inflammitory Breast Cancer). It is not a lump! It does not look or react like normal Breast Cancer as we think of it. It is very hard to diagnose and most of the time by the time it is diagnosed, it is so far advanced that it is NOT treatable! My promise to her, to my sister's memory and to all who have gone before them is this...Inform!!

Please, listen to this pod cast: http://www.mayoclinic.org/rss/cancer-podcast.xml
You will need to download it to your computer and then listen to it.
Again,inflammatory breast cancer is rare - representing just 1-5% of all breast cancers diagnosed. Unlike other breast cancers that present as a lump, inflammatory breast cancer is a more diffuse disease that spreads throughout the breast tissue. Because the symptoms are ambiguous, women with IBC are more likely than other women with breast cancer to be misdiagnosed, and ultimately diagnosed after the disease has metastasized.

Please log on for specific symptoms of IBC to http://www.mdanderson.org/diseases/breastcancer/display.cfm?id=39c2c5ae-a411-49e9-875855cb37b6c999&method=displayfull

Please feel free to copy, paste and redistribute any or all of this to friends and family. It is so important that woman become informed of this type of breast cancer!!

Blessings,

Okay, Okay...

I keep saying I will get to my blog and I never do. So today I am going to take two minutes and tell you how busy I have been. Of course, if I wasn't busy...I would have had time to update my blog!!!!





Put a roof on my house and garage the last weekend in September. All of you who know me well know that I am afraid of heights so this was a HUGE accomplishment for me!! I worked on the house from 9:00 in the morning to 10:00 at night. When I couldn't tell where the house ended and the dark began...it was time to get off!! We finished the house about 15 minutes before that rain started. And it rained for 3 weeks...almost constant.





Let's see...we have a new addition to the family. I finally got my bird!! I had birds when I was younger and love them. I wanted one when I was married but couldn't have one! Guess what...I have one now!! He is beautiful! (We are guessing on the sex.) His name is Keeter and he is the most loving Green Cheeked Conure. He may talk...he may not...don't care on way or the other. He is so much fun. As a family we have spent more time sitting in the living room talking and playing with the bird than we have ever done in the past.





School...Tyler had his parent/teacher conference this week. My ex actually showed up to this one. Surprise, surprise...(shouldn't say that but hey...it's my blog!!) Tyler is doing great! He has high scores on everything (90's and higher) except nouns, proper nouns and pronouns. However, he says that everyone was having problems. We will work on it. He has gotten 100% on his spelling words. I went back and over the past 3 years, he has only gotten a total of 3 wrong!! Now his mouthy attitude has a lot to be desired!! He definitely has his father's temper!! Even at the conference the teacher noticed that my ex was a very angry person! Too funny! Any ideas on how to help an 8 year old learn how to control his temper??? I am open for suggestions!






I have been helping with Cub Scouts quite a bit and doing school PTO fund raisers. I have also been doing a little bit of scrapbooking. I have even tried a digital page. I used one of Mad Scrapper Designs (Robin B). You can find her wonderful designs at

http://www.treasurestoscrap.com/digistore/index.php?main_page=index&manufacturers_id=14&zenid=rdoq2au7642hkoeqkippqr9qv4












I also completed a layout that I have been dreaming about for over a year. I loved these photos of Tyler when he was younger. I just couldn't find the right papers. As soon as I saw these papers, I knew they were for this layout.



Other than that...I have started my Christmas shopping and am very excited about Christmas this year. I seem to be more at peace with myself and who I am than I have been in years. I miss my sister but know that she is happy were she is. Again, she is with the Lord! What a wonderful place for her to celebrate Christmas...can you even imagine what kind of a birthday party they have in heaven...have you ever even thought about it...well, as you think about it, you will find that peace I am talking about...the true meaning of Christmas!

Blessings,

Healing

This weekend went by so fast! Tyler and I spent most of Saturday afternoon relaxing. I completed the layout that I was doing as a tribute to my sister. I am very happy with it. I am not so happy with my scanner but cannot replace it right now; so I have to settle with it cutting off the top of everything...No matter how I scan it or stitch it!! As I finished this layout I felt a warm fuzzy feeling come over me. I felt as if something lifted off of me! It has been such a wonderful feeling! I feel more at ease, more comforted, more...? full of life? I cannot put my finger on it but it feels good.










After that I created 4 small brag books for children battling cancer. I really accomplished a lot.

We then spent the evenings, both Saturday and Sunday, sitting around the camp fire at the cabin, roasting marshmellows and watching the sun set! What an awesome sun set. The stars where unbelievable! I can't wait to see the Northern Lights from the cabin this fall! I know they will be spectacular.

As I close today, I wonder about the 'things' we hand on to for too long. Anger...Worry... Hurt...Pain...and even some Memories. Isn't life much better when we can just let go?

I feel more at peace than I have in a long time. What can you let go of? Give it to God! He will take care of you.

Blessings,

Middle of September?

Yesterday would have been my sister's 48th birthday. I thought I would have a really tough time with this day so I took it off from work and pampered myself. I went and got my hair highlighted and styled. I went shopping. I had a sinful pretzel from Starbuck's. I spent almost the whole day on myself. Then I decided we were going to have a birthday party for my sister. We had a special dinner; all of our favorites...marinated steak, fried mushrooms and onions, bacon wrapped scallops, baby glazed carrots, baked potatoes with butter and salt on the skins, fresh bread buttered both sides and toasted in the oven and of course dessert, raspberry cow tracks ice cream. Absolutely nothing that was healthy for us but yummmmyy! Then we had movie night; we watched something silly and funny...Country Bears! It was so much fun and relaxing. The whole day was very good...just as it should have been. A celebration of her life.Where does the time go?? I cannot believe it is the middle of September. Sheesh! If life keeps going at this speed, I won't have time to do all the things I want to accomplish!!

Where does the time go?? I cannot believe it is the middle of September. Sheesh! If life keeps going at this speed, I won't have time to do all the things I want to accomplish!!

Today I got up and snuggled with Tyler for about 1/2 hour. I love to do this and he told me this morning that he loved snuggling with Mom she's the best snuggler in the world! LOL! Of course after about 1/2 hour, cartoons became his main focus. T.V. is normally a NO! in this house but I had brought some work home and needed time to get it done so Pokemon here we come! This Pokemon thing is an obsession with him! He has games, movies, shows, cards...I just don't ever remember having an addiction like this one at the age of 8. He eats, sleeps and breathes Pokemon. I keep this very limited too!

It is very cold here the past few days. We are dropping into the 20's at night. Hard frost at night. Even the plants close to house froze!!! Winter is coming fast! We had snow flurries yesterday morning. Yikes!!

I love the fall but this year it went from daytime temps of 90's to 40's, overnight. What happened to the nice 50's to 70's. The walking in the woods and smelling Autumn. We don't even have any colors this year. It is very strange.

Today I am taking the air conditioners out and putting them away! I am also hoping to get to an outdoor craft show but it is almost too cold. Not just cold but windy!!

School is going great! Tyler had an awesome week! No trouble at all!! It's a miracle!!! No, not really; it's the difference between a poor teacher and an excellent teacher!! He has a great teacher this year! I even got the phone call! You know the one. You hold your breath and wonder when the bomb is going to fall?? But it didn't. He said Tyler was doing excellent! WhooHoo!!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to be remembered for? My goal is to wake up every morning and be excited because life is going by sooo fast and ...

Today IS the first day of the rest of my life, let me please make the most of it!!

One Month

Wow, I cannot believe that it has been one month today since my sister passed away. It seems like it was just yesterday, yet it seems like ages ago. All at the same time. I am still having a hard time believing she is gone and I am definitely having trouble dealing with the loss. I never thought I would ever go through a situation I couldn't deal with. I dealt with a son who was preemie and went through 9 surgeries before he was one, I went through a divorce, going to school, a breast cancer scare and a cervical cancer scare all at the same time, I dealt with being abused my by father...I have never had the nightmares and uncontrollable tears that I have had with the death of my sister. I know that time heals everything, along with prayer. Every time I start to cry, I remember her faith and courage and it makes me stronger. To this day, her faith in God amazes me. I can remember when she was laying in bed and I asked her if she was worried about Gary (her husband) and Matthew. She said to me that she wasn't worried because God had a plan and He would take care of them.

I can still remember when she basically asked my other sister and I permission to die. We knew her time was coming and coming fast, but we really knew she was ready when she asked us if we would be okay if she died while we were laying with her. Again, she was always thinking about everyone else.

Her sense of humor was wonderful, right up to the very last days. We were feeding her ice chips and we dropped one down her shirt. And one of us said something about her cleavage. She laughed, pulled her shirt up, and said what cleavage. (She had a full mastectomy 7 years ago!)

I guess as I look back on the past month, I have really started the healing process. This blog and every one's love and support has been wonderful. Being able to share with everyone what I am feeling, being given support by comments here and e-mails and making new friends with my sister's friends has helped beyond anything I could ever have imagined.

My thoughts for today are to find the good in everything. Even in death, I can look back and see the laughter. I can look at my son's surgeries and see the strength and courage in myself and in him. Look at your life. Even when things seem there worst, what are you learning. What are you laughing about. If you aren't laughing, find something to laugh about and find someone to laugh with! Life is truly what YOU make it! It is a gift from God! It is wonderful. Live it fully!

Blessings,

Hang it on the cross!

Wow! What a week! Tyler started school on Wednesday. We had a meet and greet with his teacher on Tuesday night and I set up a meeting for Wednesday morning at 8:30. I needed to talk with him about my ex and his lack of enthusiasm for school and refusal to help Tyler with homework. This tends to make life difficult because my ex has Tyler on Monday and Wednesdays and every other weekend. Don't get me wrong. My ex is all in all a pretty good guy (for an ex) but he hated school growing up and I think the homework and spelling words intimidate him. My ex is also a very selfish person. He bowls on Monday nights and golfs on Wednesday night. See a pattern here?? LOL! Anyways, the meeting went very good. The teacher seems great and very helpful.

Tyler didn't even make it through the first day of third grade without being sent to the time out room (place they have to spend recess). He was disrespectful to the teacher. Set him straight! He told me that this third grade stuff is much stricter than second grade. I told him he needed to learn to keep his mouth shut. He agreed and the rest of the week went without a problem! I even got a call from the teacher last night telling me Tyler was doing 'excellent'. Only the one minor problem. Let's pray that this continues.

Today I had out patient surgery. They removed a small nasty looking mole and two huge 'deposits' from right side rib cage. They took out two very large (green grape size) deposits. I ended up with 14 stitches. Sheesh it hurts to even move!! They sent it in to the pathologist and I should have results back by Tuesday! After everything with my sister, I am a nervous wreck! I am not sleeping, anything I eat definitely does not digest correctly, I am a walking zombie.

Yet, as I turn to God and try to do as my sister did 'put it in God's hands', I seem to find a little bit of peace. My regular doctor says that a break down is coming and it is normal. I am so grateful that I 'know' the Lord. Can you imagine the people who do not know they are in His hands, that He is all knowing, all comforting. That He has a plan. I know that I am scared but I also know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that He will not carry me through! Our God is an awesome God!

Things to ponder: Have you put your faith in Him? I mean really put your faith in Him? There is nothing, NOTHING, that you need to worry about! Hang it on the Cross! It reminds me of something I memorized a long time ago. I do not know who wrote it but it is so true:

If you have a secret sorrow, a burden or a loss, an aching need for healing...Hang it on the Cross.
If worry steals your sleep and makes you turn and toss, if your heart is feeling heavy...Hang it on the Cross.
Every obstacle to faith or doubt you come across, every prayer unanswered...Hang it on the Cross.
For Christ has borne our brokenness and dearly paid the cost to turn our trial to triumph...Hang it on the Cross.

Blessings,

Round Up

Round Up?

I am not sure what this is but it seems that the girls at TTS do this as a way of getting to know each other better.

What books and/or magazines did I read this month? I have read When My Pretty One Sleeps; read it before but needed something to help me fall asleep; I am reading the Box Car Children series with my son every night; I have read at least 3 scrapbooking magazines from front to back. Do School Books Count??? Yuck! I don't want to list them!!

What movies and/or tv shows did I watch this month? That's tough because I really don't watch T.V. at all during the summer unless it's the weather channell, LOL! And I haven't rented or been to a movie in way to long! Maybe we need to have movie nights now that school has started again!

What special days did I celebrate and how? We celebrated the death of my sister. I know that doesn't sound like a celebration but it truly was! It was one of the best celebrations I have ever been to.

We also celebrated my birthday! We started celebrating on August 31 with my sister Caryn, her family and her Mother, Charlotte. It was a great BBQ and it was very difficult for me to leave. The following day, September 1 we celebrate again but by having a BBQ with my Mom, sister, family and friends at the cabin. This was a little more stressful as we were trying to get the kids fishing and tubing and .... The food was great yet when everyone left, I was ready for bed. Saturday night we celebrated a friends child being born! We had a BBQ and bon fire. Very Relaxing! Sunday the 3rd was my actual birthday and it was perfect! I got my favorite breakfast and I got to go to Micheals and spend all three of my 50% off coupons and then I got to spend the day 4 wheeling with my guys! My mom made dinner and all was good!

What gifts did I give and/or receive? During the celebration of my sister life, I can only hope that I gave what I received...friendship, warmth, love.

As for my Birthday, I received many friends into my home and I was welcomed at their homes. I really couldn't ask for a whole lot more than that.

What illnesses or health concerns did I have? Well I had a complete physical and have been referred to a general surgeon for a "deposit" on my side near my rib cage. He is also going to check out a nasty more under my breast. I will not know anything about any of the xrays or blood work until later today or tomorrow.


What fun things did I do with my friends and/or family? We bought a cabin this past month and have become friends with the neighbors, we have watched sunsets, gone to dinner, sat around a bon fire, roasted marshmellows, gone mini golfing, gone shopping, laughed until the wee hours of the morning!

What new foods, recipes or restaurants did I try this month? I ate at The Cheese Cake Factory in Texas. I had never eaten there before. It was very expensive but very good! We also ate at a little sandwich place that was awesome!!!

What special or unusual purchases did I make? My sister made a resqest that everyone where bright colors to her funeral. We as the family wanted to try to where pink. I could not find anything pink. I found a beautiful white dress at Kohl's bought pink dye at WalMart and yep.... I dyed it pink!!

What were this month's disappointments? My biggest disappointment was not that my sister passed away, but that I didn't have enough time with her!! I feel like I should have been able to get to know her better, yet I am so greatful that God found a way for me to find her when I did. And he gave us 18 months together.

What were my accomplishments this month? I made many, many friends. And my family, my true family extends to Laurette's other sister and her family.

Anything else noteworthy to record? Life is good! Even as difficult as it is, I can look around and see all the good and wonderful things God wants to show me.

Total craft projects: Was I supposed to find time for this? LOL! I complete 3/4 of a layout and 4 cards. I completed a challenge for lunear photography and I took some awesome photos of the sun setting!

As I leave today I still need to give a little word of wisdom. It is an old one that my mother used quite abit but as I look back on the past few weeks, it fits well!!

If you cannot say something nice, keep your mouth shut. If you must utter the words, put food in your mouth first so that no one can understand your hurtful words!!

Blessings,

My Loving Nephew!

Matthew is my sister’s 8-year-old son. He is a beautiful, magical, enthusiastic, charming little boy. He is warm, funny, and intelligent and will bring a new perspective to everyone who will allow him to touch their life. Why would you not allow a little boy like this in your life? Because you might be afraid, because he’s different, because he has Down’ Syndrome. If you choose to look beyond this, you will find that he is truly God’s miracle. I have met many children of this age. I have a son who is 6 months older than Matthew. There is very little that my son can do that Matthew cannot!! Matthew can read (even words as big as penicillin), he can write (his penmanship is sloppy but so are most guys I know!), he knows how to add and subtract. He is truly no different than my own son. With one exception, he is innocent! He is pure! He does not understand conditional love or anything like it. Oh, how I wish at times that I could bring back the days that my son was innocent, when he didn’t understand the nastiness of life. If you have ever judged someone who has Down’s Syndrome, SHAME on you!! I am so fortunate to have met Matthew and to know him. He brought laughter (and tears) to a very difficult time in all of our lives.

I can remember my sister lying in bed just a few days before she left to be with the Lord. She says, “Matthew’s goal in life is to make people laugh. He is always trying to clown around and be the jokester.” Matthew is so full of life and smiles and happiness. It amazes me.

My sister went to be with the Lord at 3:55 am on Monday, August 13, 2007. Matthew was still asleep when the funeral home came to pick up the body. When Matthew woke up, his Dad decided that we should try and have as normal of a day as possible and wanted to go out for breakfast. As we all got in the car, Matthew stated that he had forgotten to say goodbye to Mommy. Matthew’s Dad reminded Matthew about the conversation they had been having about Mommy going to heaven. Matthew said that he remembered. Daddy said, ‘ well, Mommy went to heaven this morning.’ Matthew was fine with this and we all thought, ‘well maybe he didn’t quite understand’. At breakfast I asked Matthew is he would like to start the Morning Prayer. He stated that he wanted to do it all by himself. “Dear God… Thank you for taking Mommy to heaven. I know that she can see the birds and the trees all blooming. I am glad she is with you. Amen!”

We were all crying and had a very hard time swallowing breakfast. He, in his own way, had understood!

On Tuesday, we had what we call up north ‘the wake’. In Texas, they have a nicer label. It is called, ‘visitation of friends’. Isn’t that beautiful? Matthew’s Dad had decided on an open casket. I can honestly say that though I never said anything I disagreed! I was soooo very wrong! Very, very wrong! Matthew needed to see his Mommy and understand that she wasn’t going to wake up. I was told a story once when my Aunt passed away. The pastor told us that a body is like a candy bar. It comes with this nice wrapper on the outside to keep it safe until you ate it. The wrapper was on the outside but the really, really good stuff was on the inside. Well our body is just the wrapper! It is to keep us safe until God comes to get the really, really good stuff, the stuff on the inside.
When Matthew saw his Mommy and tried to wake her, we all cried! Matthew shook her and broke down. Matthew’s Daddy took him into the chapel in the next room. I could here the conversation from where I was. Daddy – “Matthew, I told you Mommy went to heaven. Just the wrapping is here.” Matthew –“When is Mommy coming back from heaven.” Daddy – “Mommy isn’t coming back from heaven. She is going to live with God now.” Matthew – “What is heaven like?” Daddy – “Oh, heaven is everything you can ever imagine. It is this beautiful place that has everything you could ever want or need!” Matthew – “Oh, it’s just like Chuck E. Cheese!”

Matthew my lovable, kind, wonderful nephew. There are so many moments like this when you brought a smile or laughter to those around you. You are truly an amazing, gifted little boy.

As I close today, here are the thoughts I want you to ponder upon. Have you ever judged someone by how they looked, dirty clothes, some sort of disfigurement, smelly, speeding, passing you unsafely? Is your child starting to judge classmates because they wear glasses or can’t afford the clothes that some can afford? Do you know their circumstances? Did you try to get to know them? Maybe that person who flew by you this morning on the shoulder of the highway was late for work…but maybe, just maybe they had just gotten a call from a family member who was injured or hurt? Whenever you find yourself judging someone else, remember, there may be a very nice person under those dirty clothes? Or maybe, there is a precious, loving child who we would LOVE to be a part of.
Blessings,

Priorities

My son, who is now 8, still comes to me every night and asks me to 'snuggle' with him! I normally say, 'Oh, Tyler! I have clothes to fold, dishes to do, bills to pay and I am tired. I need to get these things done so that I can get to sleep. We will snuggle in the morning!' I hear, 'Oh, Mom! Just for a couple of minutes...Pleeeease!!' I go and snuggle for two minutes. I know it's two minutes because I time it!! Then I am up and off to get my chores done. Morning comes and I want to snuggle and he wants to watch cartoons!

As I was thinking this morning about how fast he is growing and how busy life is, I decided that from now on, no matter what, I am going to snuggle. At some point in his life, he is going to tell me, 'Mom I am way to old for you to snuggle with me'! He is not going to want to kiss and hug and snuggle and sit on my lap and all of those wonderful things we take for granted right now.

A few years ago, I received an e-mail about priorities. I was young! Death was a looooonnnngg way aways, right! I liked the e-mail so I did save it. I thought what it said was very true but I had a long time to get my priorities set. Right? Today, my wonderful boyfriend happened to forward me the exact same e-mail I was just thinking about. Most of you have probably seen it or read it before. I had originally heard that Paul Harvey had read it over the air but everytime I see the e-mail something changes but for the most part it is the same. I do not know who created it and cannot give credit to them.




3900 Saturdays!

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable. A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time.

Let me tell you about it: I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's "dance recital" he continued.

"Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. "Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays."

"I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.""Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."

"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about.

I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile. "Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.

Being with my sister when she passed away has brought a whole new meaning to life and priorities for me. Tonight and every night I am going to make the effort to snuggle as long as my son wants because someday soon the snuggling will stop. If my house is dirty, who cares! It is more important to me to spend time with my son than to have a clean house. When I am gone, no one is going to care if my house was clean or not. My son will care that I took extra time to be with him.

As I close today, think, and I mean really think...what are your priorities? Is there one thing, like me, that you put a lot of priority in that really, when looked at in the big picture, when all is said and done, won't amount to a hill of beans? I am not saying that I am never going to clean my house again but will it really make that big of a difference if it waits 1/2 hour. I doubt it!

And so, as one smart bear once said..."If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." - Winnie the Pooh.

Blessings,

Just North of Texas...

Yes, I am still on the Texas kick. Yes, I am still in the healing process. Yes, I am having difficulties with this whole thing. I am not sleeping, I am weepy, I am not myself. Yet I turn my thoughts again to what still haunts me most. Maybe if I continue to write about it, I will heal faster. Maybe it's God's will that I take this deep journey. I don't know; I only know that my fingers insist on typing. Sometimes I go back and read what I typed and don't even remember where the words came from. It's like I am being guided by unknown hands. Anyways...

Just north of Texas is this wonderful state called Oklahoma. It is home to Oklahoma Raiders, to Oklahoma City and to a wonderful woman by the name of Sarah. Sarah is a new friend but is indeed a wonderful friend!! I met her at my online home of http://www.treasurestoscrap.com/. When I first found out that my sister was sick again, I shared my story with my online friends at TTS. I had asked my sister what I could do to help. She replied, "help keep my spirits up." Well, sheesh, how was I supposed to do that when I was in Minnesota and she was in Texas. So I put a message on TTS asking for ideas. I had already decided that I was going to buy and make cards and send Laurette a card everyday! Just something silly and fun! The gals at TTS came up with a ton of different ideas. (Candy, music CD's, lotions, candles, anything to enhance all her senses that were not yet effected by cancer.) Sarah, who I didn't know yet, went the extra mile and started a RAK (for those of you who do not know this is a Random Act of Kindness) for me and got a bunch of the girls to create blank cards to send to me so that I could send them to Laurette. Wow! I thought what an awesome, unselfish gift for a complete stranger.

A few days later, Sarah and I were chatting on line and I found out that we are also sister's. We are both MaryKay Consultants. I told her that her generosity should be awarded with the Miss Go Give award. (This is an award that MaryKay gives to consultants who have given of themselves expecting nothing in return...not only to other MaryKay consultants but in everyday life. It is not something you can earn...it is truly a way of life.) Sarah humbly stated that it was nothing.

I was very please to find out that two days later Sarah was awarded her units Miss Go Give award! She so deserved this. Not just for her RAK to me but she also listened and comforted me during this whole thing. She gave me her home number, her cell number and told me that whatever I needed when I was in 'her neck of the woods' give her a shout! She chatted with me everyday online. Sunday night at about 11:30 I really needed someone to talk to so I went online and no one was there. About 30 seconds later, in popped Sarah. She said she just had a feeling that I needed her!!

This brings me full circle...whenever we are in need, God supplies! Whatever it is we need, God supplies! Sometimes it is not exactly what we think we need, but we need to trust that God will give us EXACTLY what we need, when we need it! God gave me Sarah on that evening. 4.5 hours later my sister passed away. God knew that I needed Sarah's wisdom and friendship. Thank you God and thank you Sarah. You so deserved that prestigious award. You truly are Miss Go Give!!

As I am sitting here today writing in my blog, my Mother calls me and tells me her home town (my summer playground when I was growing up) was severely hit by a tornado last night. There is almost nothing left undamaged in this little town of 945 people in N.D. My Mother is all a dither. (Yes I said dither! It is a word she uses frequently!) I calmly ask her if all of our cousins are okay? Yes! Is her sister okay? Yes! Is her aunt okay? Yes! She says, but there is nothing left of the trailer park, the school's gym roof is gone, there is a tree sitting in the living room on my cousin's house and on and on and on. I said Mother!!! Stop!!!! Only one person died. Everything else is material. Count your blessings!!!! She stops, we pray for the man who lost his life, and we thank God that the farm is still standing, our relatives are fine, and not one person in the nursing home or the hospital or the shelters got hurt.

As I leave you today, I ask you to put aside hatred, put aside your arguments, put aside petty disagreements. Life is way too short! I would rather spend my time with family, friends and loved ones than to think about anything else. If today was the last day of your life, what would you do? Who do you have unfinished business with? What would you regret not doing?

Blessings

Another Day!

So much is happening in my life so quickly that today I took a minute to sit back and reflect.
Yesterday my ex-husband's dad got rear ended by a dump truck. My ex-FIL has been in surgery most of the night and again this morning. He has a broken back. I do not know how severe it is as my Ex does not like to give a lot of information.

But, as I look back on the past few weeks, things could have been worse. A lot worse. I am fortunate that I had time to spend with my sister (some people do not get this chance). I am fortunate that I could take the time off of work. I am fortunate that my Ex could look after our son so that I could be in Texas. I am fortunate that I got to meet so many of my sister's friends. I am fortunate that the VITAS hospice unit were a group of loving, caring and wonderful people. I am fortunate that I had safe travel while driving to Texas and while flying home. I am fortunate that I had a wonderful man in my life to clean my house, do my dishes, do my laundry and take care of all the mail while I was gone. I am fortunate that my Mother was able to drive down to Texas with me. I was fortunate that when Sunday morning came and I was supposed to leave that someone whispered in my ear and told me to stay. I am fortunate that I got to know my 'sister' Caryn. I am fortunate to now call her sister and friend. I am fortunate to have made friends with a few of my sister's friends and now have stronger link to my sister's memory and her family. I am fortunate that my sister knew God and was happy to be going to meet Him!! I am fortunate that my Ex-FIL is alive and is a strong man. I am fortunate that I was able to take my son last night when my Ex was needed at the hospital. I am fortunate to have many friends. I am fortunate to have a Mother and Step-Father who love me. I am fortunate to know God! I AM FORTUNATE!!!

Yesterday I read somethings that stated - For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count 'em!

As I close, today I ask you to count your blessings and to remember that even when things look bad, they could be worse! Know God and know that He will never forsake you. He is in control and He does have a plan!

Count your blessings, today and every day!

Blessings,

Texas still haunts my mind

I am a member of the most wonderful group of Scrapbooking women at www.treasurestoscrap.com. One of the challenges today was to blog about my favorite adhesive! But everyone who knows me knows that I use Tombow! It's what I started with; it's what I have always used. And when I buy it, I buy it in bulk. I did look at Di Hickman's blog and order the free samples of UHU. I promise I will try it with an open mind.

Now on to what is really on my mind! Texas!! It still amazes me and really has changed how I look at people. These are people who are beyond kind, generous, and giving. Today I am going to talk about Heather. Heather is also an employee of VITAS. (Just to make sure everyone understands, VITAS is the name of the hospice unit who met my sister and her family for the first time on August 9, 2007.)

Okay, I need to back up a little bit here. When I saw my sister in June, one of the only negative comments she made about her wonderful husband, Gary, was that for two years he has neglected to finish the sun room she wanted done! He bought her a motorcycle and they went riding, he made her go on trips,..he made her grasp life with both hands and live life to the fullest but he wouldn't finish this room!

Back to the present. When I got to my sister's home on the 9th of August, Gary was laying tile and trying to grout it in the... you guessed it, the sun room. He wanted desperately to finish this room for Laurette. However, it was so hot that the grout would dry faster than he could finish it and it turned into a big, big mess.

On Friday the 10th, Heather happened to stop by and check on everyone and saw the dillema that Gary was in. Heather's hubby does this type of work for a living but was off of work for a short while so... you guessed it Heather, her hubby and her baby came and spent two days, on their own time, and helped take the grout out and re-do it, paint the walls, put up molding around the windows and doors. The whole thing. They spent 1/2 of one day and a whole day. And do you think they would accept one penny? NO! They did not know my sister before this, they did not know me, or anyone close to the family. They did this out of kindness! They did this because they are Christians!! I can never repay this family for their kindness or their time. All I can do is pass the kindness on to others.

As I leave you today, remember that some people will never, ever see a bible. YOU will be the only example they will ever see! Always try to live in Christ and with Christ and be an example of what Christ would want you to be. Be patient, go out of your way to be kind...even when you don't feel like it. You will be surprised as to how being kind will become and everyday act and you will feel better and better even when you feel bad. It will come back to you three fold!!

Blessings,

Home Sweet Home!

I am finally home! What a whirlwind!! I can honestly say that this has been one of the most astonishing times of my life. To leave Minnesota on Wednesday morning, drive to Texas in 18 hours for a 3 day visit with my sister and 8 days later to fly home after my sister's funeral has still not quite registered completely.

I have to tell you about Texas and the people who live there. All I can say is AWESOME, WONDERFUL, LOVING, CARING, people with a very deep connection to God and religion. In my entire life, I have NEVER (and I mean never!!) met people who give more to a complete stranger than the people in Texas! Now don't get me wrong, the bugs are huge and ugly, the heat and humidity are unbearable (107 degrees! UGH!), and the water... I couldn't even drink the coffee or eat waffles made with the water! I guess I am spoiled with the water here in Minnesota. But I can honestly tell you that the people more than make up it all. I have many, many stories to tell about the wonderful people who I encountered but today I want to tell you about Dana.

Before Laurette passed away, we knew it was going to happen. We also knew that little Matthew (my handsome nephew) was going to need a suit. So I was sent to search for a suit, you know a shirt, jacket, pants, tie, socks and shoes. This should not be to difficult right?? There was a Wal Mart a few miles away. I found shoes and socks but when I went to find pants, shirt and jacket, none could be found but the people at Wal Mart told me that Kohl's would have what I needed and they where nice enough to give me directions. So, off I went. Now mind you at this point I have not really accepted that my sister is dying not have I cried. I got to Kohl's and am thinking that this can't be that difficult. I get Tyler suits twice a year and it runs me about $30 - $40 for a jacket, pants, vest, tie, and shirt. (It's an all-in-one purchase normally done at JC Pennys) I am searching Kohl's everywhere and I finally find the little boys suits. The jacket alone in on sale for $90.00. No this is not a typo...Ninety dollars!! Now it's not that I won't pay that but it is not what I was expecting. I stood in the middle of Kohl's and started to bawl. I knew it wasn't the jacket, it was everything else. But I couldn't stop crying. I left the store and went to my car and sat in it crying for about 20 minutes. When I was okay to drive, I drove back to the house...empty handed. No suit. When I walked in the door, I was greeted by one of the VITAS (hospice) employees. We had many people come into the house from the hospice company but I had not yet met this one. She could tell I had been crying and asked me what was going on and how could she help. I explained everything that had happened in looking for this silly suit and she just wrapped her arms around me and held me while I cried again. We both knew I was not crying about the suit and even laughed about it. Her name was Dana and she had stopped to get my sister's signature on a Do Not Resuscitate form. She needed to go and get the doctor's signature on the form but said she would call me in a few hours and if she didn't have a suit at home for Matthew, she would come and get me and we would go find one. (It's hard to find stores when you have no idea where you are??!) About 30 minutes later Dana called and said, 'You are not going to believe where I am right now!' She then told me that when she left she had called the doctor and the doctor happened to be at one of the nearby stores and wanted her to meet her there. The store the doctor was at was a discount store for suits and dresses. They had complete suits there for $40.00. Name brand suits for $40.00. What size did I need? She bought a size 10 (which I asked for) and a size 12 (just in case) and brought them over to the house the next morning. And you guessed it...she wouldn't take a single penny from me. No matter how hard I tried, she refused! This was a complete stranger less than 24 hours before. She did not previously know my sister, she didn't know any of the family. She was an angel sent to me when I needed her most and I am forever grateful. I will someday find a way to repay her if only to pass the gesture of kindness on to someone else!

As I end my post today, I ask you to look deep into your hearts and give. Give to someone who needs it most. It may be a stranger, it may be an enemy, it may be a family member or even a friend. But it will profoundly effect that person for the rest of their life. If we could all do one kind thing to one person each day, what a wonderful world this would be.

Blessings,

Wherever a beautiful soul has been, there is a trail of beautiful memories!

My sister was such an inspiration to me. I was asked to write something for the funeral. Wow! This is by far the hardest thing I have ever been asked to do. I can write but normally not on demand; it takes me weeks to tweak and rewrite and then tweak some more. But I thought today I would share with you the memomial of my sister!

How do I find words to express my feelings and my thoughts?

I know that the tears I cry and the sadness I feel are for everything I can no longer have or touch. I know in my heart that my beloved sister is no longer in pain. I am thankful I was able to be here with her. This little woman with a huge heart, much, much faith and more courage than I have ever seen, has gone to be with the Lord. She is at peace! She is happy!

In the past few days, she has taught me so much. Not once did she cry or be rude or difficult with any of her nurses. She said please, thank you and was kind to all who came to see her. Even when she was tired, she gave strength to those who were around her. She has touched so many lives here and everywhere she has been. Her friends are many and each one has given me a story of her courage and her faith! And I thank them for this.
The tears I cry are more for me than for her. The sadness I feel is for my loss. I am very happy to know that she is where she wanted to be, with the Lord. For the next few days, I will celebrate her life.

They say memories are golden
Well, maybe that’s true
But we never wanted memories
We only wanted you.

A million times we’ve needed you,
A million times we’ve cried.
If love alone could have save you,
You never would have dies.

In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a special place
No one could ever fill.

If tears could build a staircase and
Heartache build a lane,
We’d walk the path to heaven
Just to hold you once again.

Our family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same
But as God calls us one by one
The chain will link again.

I knew you for but a moment.

The poem is a composition of a lot of different words I found on line and then tweaked to fit my situation. I cannot give any one person credit for it as there is a lot of me in there too; but I did not do it all on my own.

Celebrating A Life

Morning to all!

As I sit here this morning, I think of all of the wonderful people I have in my life. You have all encouraged me, strengthened me and befriended me in ways that I can never repay.

It is with saddened heart yet with happiness that I tell you my sister Laurette has passed away. Her other sister, her husband, and many other friends have come to peace with her wishes to be with her Lord! I am forever thankful that I was able to be with her as she left this world and this little woman with a huge heart, much, much faith, and courage has gone to be with the Father. She is at peace! She is happy!

In the past few days, she has taught me so much. Not once did she cry or become rude or difficult with any of her nurses. She said please, thank you and was kind to all who came to see her. Even when she was tired, she gave strength to those who were around her. She has touched so many lives here and everywhere she has been. Her friends are many and each one has given me a story of her courage and her faith!

The tears I cry are more for myself than for her. The sadness I feel is for my loss. I am very happy to know that she is where she wanted to be, with the Lord. For the next few days, I will celebrate her life. I knew her for but a moment!

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I am truly blessed by you and your friendship!

To My Sister

I treasure the moments,

each hour,

each day.

Each memory,

each promise,

like it was yesterday.

I learned from example,

all values,

all truth.

All visions,

all cherished

I received them from you.

When God thought of sisters,

their laughter,

their worth,

their love and their friendship,

He thought of you first.

God Bless,

2 CORINTHIANS 4:17-18 NLT17 For our present troubles are quite small and won't last verylong. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory thatwill last forever!18 So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For thetroubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come willlast forever.

Rollercoaster Ride!

Wow! What a ride the last 4 days have been. I am not even sure where to start. I will go back to Thursday...

Thursday 4:00 - I have a headache like no other. If I don't find someplace dark soon, I know it will turn into a Migraine. I still need to make it to the end of the day, make a Mary Kay delivery, and cook dinner. Other than that, there is nothing that can't wait. I decided to duck out of work 1/2 an hour early. Dropped of my Mary Kay order on my way home; had a great talk with my client. I might have just needed fresh air because as I am talking with her, my headache is disappearing. As I am leaving her house, my phone rings and it's a number I have never seen before. It is my sister's half sister. She has just gotten off the phone with Laurette. The doctors are taking her off of radiation, off of chemo and putting her in hospice. My heart sinks. I am told that my sister is too tired to make or receive phone calls right now and could I please help by calling my sister, my Mom and our mutual father, who no one has spoken to in years! Sheesh!!! I am trying to drive, trying not to cry, can feel the migraine coming on full force and am thinking how unfair it is to find my sister only to lose her way to quickly!! By the time I drive the 10 minutes home, I am crying so hard I can't see to get out of the car. I am so angry at my biological father for the role he played in separating us! My head is pounding and here comes my 8 year old son! "Mom. Mommy." Wrapping his arms around me. "What's wrong?" Hugging me tighter! I told him about his aunt and he asked if she was going to die. All I could think of was we all are going to die. Some of us are just going to do it sooner than others and we have to make the most of every moment we have together!

To compound matters, we are supposed to be closing on a cabin at 2:00 on Friday. Dan has been running all over town getting all of insurance information, appraisals, water tests, septic permits and rearranging his work schedule so he can be off Friday afternoon.

As my 'boys' are calming me down and we are sitting in the back yard in the shade relaxing, Dan tells me that we will not be closing on Friday because the selling realtor 'forgot' to get a signature from one of the owners and he is in Afghanistan. They can e-mail the papers over to him but he had to mail them back. They MUST have an ink signature! They have known for two weeks that they needed this signature. If we had not had out 'ducks in a row', we would have lost our earnest money. Now we find out that not only do we have to wait but they want more money for the items they are leaving in the cabin. Yikes!!!

I still needed to call my sister and my Mom and, heaven forbid, my father! I called my Mom, she called my father!!!! And I talked to my sister. We talked about going to Texas the following week but I still need to talk to Laurette to make sure she wanted visitors. I had already told Laurette that I would be calling on Friday, so we thought it would be best to wait.

My wonderful 'boys' decided that I shouldn't have to cook, so they took me out for dinner. By the time I got back home my head was pounding and my vision was going! Full blown migraine. Dan had to run and help a friend out so my wonderful son put me to bed and put himself to bed. My phone woke me at about 9:10. My first thought was ' dang it Dan, you do not need to call me to tell me you are on your way home.' I couldn't focus on the caller ID. It was Laurette!!! We talked for 1/2 hour and I got some information out of her that no one else could. The doctors have given her 3 months! We talked about Tammy, Mom and I going to Texas. She said that she would love to have us come down just coordinate with her other sisters because she didn't want everyone there at once. It was very hard to keep my composure but I held it together as best as I could. When I got done talking to her, I called Karen (her other sister). We talked about when she was leaving for Texas and coordinated that we would be in Texas until the 12th and she and Julie would arrive on the 13th. Dan got home just as I was ending the call. He held me as I cried myself to sleep.

Friday AM - Oh how I hate the mornings after a migraine. I always feel hung over. I am glad I did not have to work but almost dreaded the fact that I had planned a swimming and lunch play date for my son with two of his buddies and their Mom's. On the other hand, having a house full keeps your mind off of things right??!

In hind site, I am very glad that everyone came to the house. It was wonderful to be 'normal' for a few hours!! I took a couple of minutes at around 1:00 to call Laurette as I had promised. I told her that Karen and I had coordinated and that Tammy, Mom and I would be in Texas on the 9th and leave on the 12th and that Karen and Julie would be there on the 13th. She said perfect!! Her spirits were up and she sounded not soooo very tired! I felt better too!

Tyler and I spent the rest of the day shopping and getting hair cuts. I was feeling better and Tyler was being so good! He can really tell when I need him to go the extra mile and behave!

Still Friday -2:20 Our realtor calls - we could have closed!!! The paper work we needed was in the the guys safety deposit box. The other realtor neglected to check with the owners!!! Can you say &%^&****!!!! And they still want more $$$$ for junk they left in the cabin. We told our realtor to tell their realtor that he can pay for the stuff out of his commision or they could have it all out of there before closing on Monday!!

Tyler wanted to stay at Grandma & Papa's Friday night so Dan took me out for a very nice, quiet dinner and then home for an early night; we were both sleeping by 10:00. Again, my phone rings at 11:30. I can't blame poor Dan because he is right next to me. It's Laurette! She has decided that she doesn't want us to come to Texas. WHAT????? My heart sinks!!! She has decided that since she already has a round trip ticket to Minneapolis for a concert on Friday the 10th that we should all just meet in the cities!! We can visit Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Then Julie and Karen are going to fly to Texas and drive her back to Minnesota. She will stay with Karen for a month or so!!! Karen has 20 acres and she is sure that I can just park my camper there and come and go as I please! OMG!!! Dan is sleeping and my mind is racing. I can't get back to sleep and there is no one to talk to!!

Saturday - I called Karen! Yep! I wasn't dreaming! She's coming home!!! Yes I can park my camper on their property. Yes we can all come and go as we please! Yes we are all welcome! She gave me the name and phone number of the hotel in MPLS and then I started calling my Mom and Tammy. Everything is set. I get a chance to get to know my sister better. God has given me the biggest gift! More than I could ever have hoped for! I am so happy that I am getting this chance! I am so greatful! There have been so many people who have been praying for me, my sister, our family! I have always known that God listens and answers prayers. I have been on the receiving end of answered prayers many times. I know that I have done nor could I possibly do anything to deserve His Grace but I am so very thankful that he has granted yet another prayer!

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.

Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask now for Your forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.

Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. And have the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.

Continue to use me to do Your will. Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those that don't believe. But I thank you that I believe.

I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and
joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met. I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees it.

Blessings!!

Angela

My Childhood Memories

I absolutely love the blog challenges at Treasures to Scrap! The most recent challenge is to not only blog about a favorite childhood memory but to do a layout to represent it. This is a very difficult project for me. Those of you who know me well, know that my childhood did not have a lot of happy memories. I can remember hot summer nights playing with kids from my old neighborhood but have only a slight recollection of it. I guess the most prominent memory for me is four days that I spent at the lake with my neighbors!! We sat around the campfire, we swam, we fished, and I had my very first ride on a four wheeler. We explored everything. To this day, I love to explore. I love to take the road not taken. And yes one of my favorite poems is Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken. I love taking the road less traveled and going places that I have never been. When we travel, I love to take the back roads even if it takes longer and there are stop signs.

Two weekends ago we, Tyler and I, went to Minneapolis. On our way back we took a back road and Tyler just freaked. He didn't understand why we would want to get off the freeway. He understood when we saw all the wildlife and when we stopped on the side of the road and let him play hide-n-seek in some farmer's corn field! He laughed and talked about it for days afterwards!

Exploring is definitely the best memory I have from childhood. It was such a wonderful experience...it was my get away from everything! To this day and hopefully always...I will explore, the woods, the roads, everything!!

My courageous Sister

This is a long, long story that starts back in 1980, probably even farther back than then. My biological father was married and had one daughter before he married my Mom. I don't remember spending a lot of time with her when I was little but I guess I did. My sister's Mother moved across the country when I was about 5. 11 years later, my sister got a hold of me and we spent time together off and on for about 3 years. Then in 1980, she disappeared. I was young and hurt and didn't really want anyone to know how much I cared, so I just pushed her out of my mind. Over the years, and a lot of growing up, I started to search for her on and off. Nothing really serious because I didn't really know how to go about looking for her. Last June, I had a horrible dream and woke up knowing that I HAD to find her. I knew her Mom's first name but not her last. I talked to my Mom and she remembered the last place that they had lived. I searched data bases and newspaper archives and a week later I had a phone number, or so I thought. I called and left a message on Friday afternoon. I finally got a call back on Sunday night. I had the right number. It was my sister's Mom!

We had a nice chat! My sister was now in Texas!! I had found her!! And, I am an Aunt!!! Her son is just a few months younger than mine. However, it was bitter sweet. Five years before, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy, the whole caboodle. Was very, very sick. But is a survivor! She celebrated her 5 year cancer free anniversary with her husband on an Alaskan cruise. During their cruise, she got severe headaches and was very dizzy. Thinking she had some sort of flu along with motion sickness, she thought nothing of it. When she got home to Texas, she still didn't feel well. She went to the doctor. They found a large tumor at the base of her brain. She had brain cancer! They went to do the surgery on this tumor and before surgery they do another scan just to make sure they know exactly where the tumor is and how big it is. Well, they found 5 more tumors. They also determined that she had bone cancer and liver cancer.

I asked her Mom to have my sister call me. A few hours later, a very weak, tired voice was on the other end of my telephone. We talked for a very short time, but she promised to call me the following week when she was feeling stronger.

True to her word, she called me as I was leaving work the following Wednesday. We talked for hours. Her faith that God would heal her was soooo strong that anyone would have to just fall in line and believe! We e-mailed and talked throughout the winter and spring. Every time she visited the doctor, I would receive an encouraging e-mail. In June, I received an e-mail telling me something I already knew. Our GOD is and AWESOME GOD!!! Her brain cancer was almost non existent, her liver count was way up (this is a good thing), and her blood was reproducing which means that the good blood cells are pushing out her cancer cells!!! She planned a trip to see her Mom here in Minnesota. We met at a hotel and had a wonderful, yet way too short, visit. We talked for hours. Our boys (Tyler's only cousin) played together. We talked of getting together in Texas this fall/winter. After all of these years, I had my oldest sister back in my life. From here my sister was leaving for Tennessee for a 3 month vacation with her son and her husband. While she was in Tennessee, she started having problems with her vision. She went to a specialist there and was diagnosed with cancer in her eyes. They cut their vacation short and went home to Texas. She then had her own doctor confirm that yes she had cancer in her eyes. The cancer was also back in her liver and her brain and is now in her lungs. She has had 4 radiation treatments in each eye and will need 15 in each eye. Then she will start Chemo.

I feel so utterly helpless. All I can do from this far away is pray and ask everyone I know to pray too! So as I type this I cry. For a sister I lost, for a sister I found, for the pain that she is going through, for the pain her family is in, for my selfishness of not trying to find her sooner, for the years we lost.

I pray...

Father who art in heaven, please give my sister the strength that she needs to endure what needs to be done. Please guide the doctors to find the best solution for her. Please give her husband and son the strength to support her in every way possible. Please, Lord, these things I pray in your Son's name. Amen

Favorite Quotes

Treasures to Scrap (treasurestoscrap.com), on of my favorite places to visit online, posts challenges occasionally. One of my favorite challenges they have is posting to your blog. I love to read about and get to know other people who are on the site. This is my ramblings on the most recent challenge of what my favorite quote is:

Through my life I have had a lot of favorite quotes. But the one that has ALWAYS stayed with me through everything is ...

Even if you cannot change the world, you can change your attitude!

When I am blue, I remember this and force myself to smile. When I am hurt, I remember this and try to turn the hurt into something positive. When I am angry, I remember this and realize that life is way too short to be angry.

I cannot change other people! But I can change myself and how I react.

My other favorite is of course biblical...

2 CORINTHIANS 4:17-18 NLT
17 For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever!
18 So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.

No matter what I endure in this life, I KNOW that I have a better place waiting for me. I am only here for a very short time. I will KNOW a joy that will last forever.

Whatever problems I have, whatever pain I endure, whatever heartache...it will only last a short time, even if it is for the rest of my life here on earth.

Live life for today...tomorrow may never come!