Sistaco Review

I have not used this blog in a 5+ years. I have wanted to get back to it for a long time and thought that I would start with this review as the company is in need of honest, not paid, reviews. 

The words I am using came in part from another blogger. I cannot find the original blog to give credit but hope that if they see this, they see it as a compliment and not anything less as their words explain perfectly what is going on. I did make minor changes to make it apply to me and MY opinion. 

I found the company "Sistaco" manipulates its front-facing image. Something I never agree with. Because of this, I have stopped using and purchasing their products. 

They manipulate by: 

   1. They block ALL comments on their Facebook page that do not give them a glowing review or have a positive view of Sistaco the company and/or their products. 

   2. Facebook groups that discuss nail systems including this one are shut down by Sistaco. Claiming counterfeit products are being sold when nothing on the site is being sold! 

   3. If Sistaco finds any sites or groups discussing nail systems in general, but happen to include Sistaco, they harass and get them shut down. 

  4. My opinion of Sistaco products is that they are way overpriced and the powders are hit-and-miss. Some powders apply better than others, other powders can come out a different colour. The removal process is appalling and ruins many people's nails (as I have observed). 

From my own experience, I have encountered the majority of the above issues. When I did contact customer service, it was mostly canned responses telling me I was 'applying it incorrectly' and search the site for proper application. 

This company is deceiving customers by giving a false sense of security due to the perfect comments they allow through their public image. If you manage to speak to someone from Sistaco about an issue, they refuse to acknowledge any flaws in their products, as the only response you get from Sistaco is that it is your fault because you are applying it wrong or not prepping correctly. #sistaco

Are we confused yet?

'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'

'Out of sight, out of mind.'

'Just remember when you are ignoring them, they are learning to live without you.'

'While you are ignoring her, someone else is begging for her attention.'

'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be.'

It was hard enough as teenagers to figure out the mixed signals and advise that we got. But as single adults, it hasn't gotten any easier. At what age do the games stop?
Absence does make the heart yearn...it teaches value for what you are missing, and if out of sight, out of mind is what you actually feel, then be honest and move on!

I am tired of a society who plays games! I will ignore her/him and they will want me more?

Why can't we all just be honest with one another? If you are interested, say so. If you want to date, say so. If you want to just be friends, say so. Is it really that difficult? We have all been hurt at one point or another. Are we willing to take a risk again?

I can honestly say that if I love something and it wants to be free, I will let it go. If it comes back, too bad. Most likely, I've moved on.

Unconditional Love

Love - there are so many ways to love someone. You can love someone and not be 'IN' love with them. My personal explanation of love...it does not mean that it is reciprocated. If I love someone, I want what is best for them and in reality, most of the time, they do not believe it is me. I am okay with that. Now being okay with that does not mean that I do not hurt...that I do not wish...that I do not cry. What it means is that I want them to be happy! If their vision of happy does not equal my vision of happy, I still want their vision to come true...with or without me. When you love your children, it is the closest thing that we as mortals can come to unconditional love...agape love...selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. We cannot achieve this without being willing to sacrifice our own happiness for someone else's.

I am not saying that we need to continue in a relationship where someone cheats on us or is abusive (physically, emotionally or psychologically). I am not saying that we need to STAY or BE in a relationship at all. However, I truly feel that if we really loved the person, regardless of what they have done to us, we want them to be happy. To find what it is that they need to compliment (no one can complete someone else!) them.

I have loved. I have loved someone who was abusive. I have loved more than one who has cheated on me. I claimed to have loved them. I used the words but my actions did not always reflect what my words said. I was hurt and the hurt feelings over powered the love I once claimed to have. They hurt me; therefore, I wanted them to hurt. I let their actions modify my belief. As I reflect on my actions (reactions), I actually wonder if I really loved them? Did I know what love really was? Or was I just so wrapped up in their actions that I let it change my compass?

As I look back now, I have regrets about how I reacted. I was hurt...ashamed. And why? Because I had the courage to let someone in? Because I had the courage to trust yet again? Because I fell in love with someone who wasn't worthy of my love? Who didn't feel the same way about me as I did about them? Who may have felt that way but then changed their mind?

I did truly love them. I can look back now and direct my compass. I wish each one of them well. I pray that they find the happiness that they are looking for. Whatever that may be! I was not what they needed but that is not a reflection of who I am. It is a reflection on who they are and what they want. It isn't wrong! How they ended the relationship or how they treated me may have been wrong! But not wanting the same thing as me or changing their mind? That was not wrong.

It is truly an empowering moment when you can pray for the best for someone who has hurt you to the core. When you can still say, yes I love them enough to let them go with well wishes to find their true happiness. It doesn't mean that I would be dumb enough to ever take them back...I love myself too! :) I no longer harbor any ill feelings. I will always love them; they will always have a piece of my heart...I gave it to them...willingly. I do not need to be 'IN' love with them.

To my past, I wish you all the very best that life has to offer. I hold no grudges. I hold no anger. I am sorry for my reaction.

To my future, I have let go of my past. I am excited to see what you have in store for me!

As for today, it is time to live my life...today!

Some of us have given so much power to the people from our past that we are afraid of being loved again. After getting your heart broken, one of the biggest mistakes that you can make is, continuing to live your life like everyone else is out to break you as well. I know it takes time to heal. I know it takes time to pick up the pieces and rebuild again but everyone is not out to hurt you. If we continue to live our lives emotionally closed off from the world, there is a very big chance we will never get to experience real happiness. Being emotionally closed off will keep you safe because it will prevent you from getting close to anyone again but it will also turn you bitter. It will poison some of the other solid relationships with other people that you already have. Forgive who hurt you and take steps towards never reliving that pain again. Let it go so that you can let yourself grow into the person you were designed to be. Allow yourself the opportunity to fall in love again without holding on to the past. You will never see who is coming if you are always looking back at who just left.

When I die

On the die I day a lot will happen.

A lot will change.

The world will be busy.

On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.

The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.

The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.

All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.

The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.

All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past; where they should have always been anyway.

Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over, my waistline or hair or frown lines, will fade away.

My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.

The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.

The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.

These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.



Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.

On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.

They will feel a void.

They will feel cheated.

They will not feel ready.

They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.

And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.

I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive, I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.

They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating 'NOW' with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you’ve been led to believe matters, because on the day you die, the fact is that much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day.

But before that day comes: let us live.

(not all my words but I can't remember where I found it)

Take your time.

It's ok to take your time when you are getting to know someone. We have to get out of this mental state of rushing to find love like we are up against a deadline. The one thing to remember about finding love is, "it will take as long as it takes." You can't rush something that you want to last forever. Take your time conversating with people. Take your time finding out if you both have things in common. Learn to grow wiser with someone while you learn about them as a person and what they have been through. Sometimes the only reason why we end up being with the wrong person is because we didn't ask enough questions to raise any red flags. Even if you like someone, take your time inviting them into your life on a deeper level, because at the end of the day, you are responsible for who you share your time and your heart with.

Negative people

There are negative people all around us. Some feed on being negative and actually enjoy it...they enjoy making others feels bad or making them feel weak, their problem isn't with you, the issue usually lies within them.
Don't let them get to you. Don't give them power over you. Accept that, that is who they are and release the negativity and know you are strong enough to let it go.

Someday!

Someday, you’re going to meet a person who you don’t just think about spending your lonely nights with, but a person who you actually want to wake up next to, a person to share your mornings with.

This person will be different because they’re the only one, who can move past the unbreakable wall you’ve built around yourself, who can look past your exterior and break through all the bullshit you keep selling to the entire world.

They can look you in the eyes and know exactly when you’re lying or hiding something.
They can glance at you for a minute and know exactly what’s on your mind and what you’re feeling before you even begin to say it.

There will be a connection that you just can’t seem to understand, a connection that goes beyond time, space, and reason. And you’ll be happy in knowing that you’ve met someone who can share something as amazing as that with you.

And they will let you enter their world, just like you allowed them to enter yours.
You’ll talk about all the ambitions and dreams that you had never revealed to anyone else before. You’ll open up about the fears and disappointments that you didn’t even know existed. You will reveal all your mistakes and insecurities, only to find comfort in the fact that this one person beside you, will never judge you for any of it.

Someday, you’re going to find a person who knows how to break through every wall you ever built and leave you with the kind of raw feelings and emotions that you never even knew you were capable of experiencing.

And you’re going to look at that person and know very well that they’re not perfect, that they have their own set of flaws, weaknesses, and insecurities. But you’ll find happiness in seeing how perfectly your flaws complement each other, in a way that everything starts to make complete sense.

Someday, you’ll realize that you’ve started to worry for this one person in your life, after years of only worrying about your own self.

You’ll find yourself getting angry to any person who has done them wrong.
You’ll find yourself feeling all these new things through another person’s soul. And while you will never be able to take away their pain or their past, it’s their future that you’re more concerned about now. And you realize that previously, your own future was the only one that actually mattered to you.

Someday, you’ll realize that if anything were to ever happen to this person, you would end up being a complete and utter mess. You wouldn’t be able to recover, to find someone who could replace them, to stop being sad about their absence in your life.

You’ll realize that they really matter to you.

You’ll realize that they always have.

And you’ll realize that they always will.
Someday, you’ll find yourself reminiscing over every tiny little detail about them- from the first time you met them and the very first words you spoke with each other to all the amazing memories that followed.

And the memories will start to surprise you. Because you’ll think about how you’ve lived a good and long life, seen so many different faces along the way and had so many different interactions. And yet, this person and all the interactions you’ve had with them are the only ones you remember with such intricate details.

And this relationship will be something that no one around you seems to truly understand. But the thing is they don’t have to understand it. They don’t have to accept it. They don’t even have to like it.

Because you already have.
So you’ll muster up the courage to finally break free from your wall, to let all your inhibitions go, and say those three magic words! And for the first time in your life, you won’t hold back because for the first time in your life, you’re looking at a person with complete confidence in your heart, a person who isn’t going to let you down.

Someday, you’re going to meet a person who simply feels like home.

Someone!

I just want to see the beauty in love again. I don't want to let the negative experiences of the past to control how I give and receive love for the rest of my life. Sometimes you have to move on and believe that there is better for you out there even when you can't really see it. We have to learn how to take our pain and turn it into purpose. We have to learn how to grow through what we go through, so that we can be better individuals in life. Stop giving so much power to your heartbreaks. Never give anyone so much power over you that, they start making you think about yourself in negative ways. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you have to have a mindset that your presence alone will lift the spirits of any room that you walk into. Someone out there is waiting to appreciate your love. Someone out there is waiting to meet a person like you, so that they can show you what it's really like to be treated the right way. Someone out there is waiting to build a life with you and give you everything you need when it comes to love.

Needs

There are so many changes that happen during our lives. Some of them are small and some of them are big, but each one of them impacts our very existence. We can respond to these changes in many different ways, and how I respond will be completely different from how someone else may respond. Neither way is wrong! Neither way is right! Because we are different, we cannot expect everyone to respond the same way to the same situation.

I personally have had many changes in the past few years. Losing my son's father was by far the biggest. I was never meant to be an only parent. And yes...there is a difference between an only parent and a single parent. Even though we were divorced, we talked a couple of times a week. Raising a 17 almost 18 year old is difficult to begin with...raising one without his father makes is much more challenging. The struggle I have is not having that person to talk to about our child. Yes...you can talk to friends, parents, siblings...NOT the same. They don't know the child like parents do. Sometimes just the daily struggle is exhausting...but when there are issues to deal with it can sometimes become more than exhausting. You don't know where to turn...there isn't anyone to talk to. Sometimes I feel like I am a failure...I can't seem to do anything right in his eyes. I have no control. People on the outside looking in are judging because you don't call as much as you used to...you don't see them as often as you used to...they will make snide comments about it. What they don't realize is that you are struggling to just get through each day. You put on a smile and hope that you can fake it until you make it. You are now responsible for so much more and it weighs heavy on your shoulders. There is no 'get away' time or 'myself' time. You are working every day just to get through that day. 

Some days you just need that someone who will listen...let you vent...let you ramble.  Most days you don't need or want them to 'fix' it.  You just want someone to listen.  To take time out of there busy day and listen to you whine and cry. 

Moving Forward

I have started making some MAJOR changes in my life. How I look at things...what I read...how I feel...what I think. I am surprised and pleased with the changes I see and feel in such a short time. The decisions I have made and the ease at which these decisions have been made. My attitude is one of gratitude...one of peace. I am not rushing to find someone or something. I do not need to replace what I have lost. I am happy with myself. The moment I typed that last phrase I felt this little pitter patter of my heart in the knowledge that what I just wrote was true. I am happy with myself. Life is easy. Easier than I was making it. I am reading a variety of books on how to improve myself...how to date...how to succeed in my dreams. Something I need to remember is sometimes people come into your life to be "teachers". Sometimes they're not meant to be your lover or your husband or your friend - sometimes, they're meant to be a teacher. And the life lesson they are teaching you, while very painful. . .is also VERY valuable as well. Because through your painful experience, this person, this teacher, has actually taught you what NOT to tolerate, what NOT to do and in doing so. . .actually helps you better determine what you need, what you SHOULD do and how you should expect to be treated by others. So believe it or not - a lot of good can come from these painful experiences, if you look at the individual who hurt you as a "teacher" of sorts. You may not have known what you wanted or needed or were worthy of previous to meeting them, but after your experience with them - they have helped you narrow down what you do want, what you are worthy of and what you need from another individual as your partner.

"People come into your life for a reason (teacher), a season (guide) or a lifetime (soul mate)."

I am learning. I am making lists. I am changing.

Things to Remember!

It is obvious, but any relationship without regular interaction and communication is going to have problems, especially when there is a lack of commitment. Don't wast time with someone who only wants you around when it is convenient for them. You shouldn't have to force someone to make space in their life for you, because if they truly care about you they will gladly create space for you. Being in a relationship with someone who overlooks your worth is not loyalty, it is stupidity. Never beg someone for attention. Know you self-worth and move on if you must.

Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be - that you've made mistakes in the past, learned from then and moved past them. They may not be able to stand the fact that you are growing and moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you. Do not help them by acknowledging their negative behavior. Keep moving forward. Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste of energy! It serves NO purpose. If someone continuously judges you by your past and holds it against you, you might have to leave them behind.

A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air flowing and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this kind of unrestricted environment. You can come and go as you please, but you choose to stay because where you are is where you want to be! If you want to be a part of someone's life, all the open doors and windows in the world won't make you leave.

If you allow others to define your dreams and abilities, then you enable them to hold you back. What you are capable of achieving is not a function of what other people like is possible for you. What you are capable of achieving depends on what you choose to do with your time and energy. Look beyond the presumptions and mental limitations of others; connect with your own best vision of YOUR life. Life is an open-ended journey. What you achieve comes from what you expect to achieve and your you work to achieve. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. Keep living YOUR truth. The only people who will get mad at you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.

Love is a verb, not a noun. It is ACTIVE in all relationships. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance between lovers; it is also a behavior among friends and family. If someone lies to you, they are un-lovingly disrespecting you and your relationship. When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you have a lot in common with this person - you are BOTH lying and being un-loving to YOU!! Bottom line: Those who avoid the truth and tell you only what you want to hear, do so for their own benefit, not yours!

The negative people i n your life don't just behave negatively towards you, but towards everyone they interact with. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality - their own issues. Even if they say something to you that seem personal - even if they insult you directly - it likely has zero to do with you. This is important to remember because whet these negative people say and do shouldn't be taken to heart. Although you don't have control over what they say and do, you do have control over whether or not you allow them to say and do these things to you. You alone can deny their venomous words and actions from invading your heart and mind. Positive things happen when you distance yourself from negative people. Doing so doesn't mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself.

A little bit of envy is OK, but when someone is excessively envious of what you have, there is a good chance what they really want it to take it from you. Excessive envy doesn't tell you how much someone admires you, it tells you how much they dislike themselves. If you can, try to help lift them up but also be careful that they don't pull you down. Oftentimes no amount of love, or promises, or proof from you will ever be enough to make them feel better about themselves. For the broken pieces they carry are pieces they must mend for themselves. Happiness, after all, is an inside job!

Truth be told no human being is superior! No race, size or shape is inferior. If you judge others by their skin color, body size, and their outer beauty, you will miss EVERYTHING about who they really are!! It is amazing the quality of people you will learn about and meet in this world if you can simply get past the fact that lots of people are not dressing and living the way you do. People who motivate you to judge or hate others are as bad as bad company gets!

Spend time with people who see you the way you are and not as they wish to think you are. Spend even more time with those who truly know about you and who love and respect you anyway!! If someone expects you to be someone you are not, take a step back. It is wiser to lose relationships over being who are than to keep them intact by acting like someone you are not!! It is easier to nurse a little heartache and meet someone new, than it is to piece together your own shattered identity. It is easier to fill an empty space within you life where someone else used to be than it is to fill the empty space within yourself where YOU used to be!

You Are More

Today is quick and easy...it is all I can handle

I feel in love with this song I heard by Tenth Avenue North a few months ago and came across it again today. I truly needed to find this and read it again. It is where I am today!

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.


Truly...I am more than the choices I have made! I am more than the sum of my past mistakes! I am more than the problems I create!! This is NOT about what I feel...It is about what HE felt to forgive me and what HE felt to make me loved!

His Amazing Grace!!

And so begins my journey!

Days gone by...

Have you ever thought about the past? I have really been thinking about my school years lately. Grade school, junior high, high school, friendships, first crushes...

Do you ever wonder what happened to someone? Who impacted you...good or bad? What teachers do you remember?

It's funny what we remember and how different someone else remembers the exact same thing. I remember being stabbed in the leg with a pencil in fourth grade because I wouldn't let a boy (I had a crush on) cheat off of my science paper. I remember the teacher grabbing the boy by the ears and putting him inside of a big garbage can. Back then it was acceptable...now the boy would have been suspended and the teacher may have been fired. How times have changed!

I remember being afraid all the time, being afraid no one liked me, being afraid of being teased all the time, being afraid to ride the bus. I would have rather walked across town than ride the bus. I look back and now realize that it was more likely my home life that was making afraid of everything. It's funny to look back and remember a girl who always picked on me. She stood behind me in choir and always poked at me. She actually tore a hole in one of sweaters. I remember crying about it and then being teased more. What she didn't know was that we couldn't afford new clothing and this was the first new sweater I had in years...my grandmother had bought it for me. She didn't know that my home life included emotional, mental and physical abuse and that by coming home with that torn sweater, I was going to be beat. I didn't learn until later in life that she too came from an abusive home. The only difference was she came from a wealthy abusive home and I came from a very poor abusive home.

This revelation so to speak was a major changing point in my life. As a child growing up, we all had insecurities! Those insecurities play on what we do and who we are, and they come from our home life. What we don't know is what the other person's home life is like.

Just about everyone knew that my father was the town drunk! What they probably didn't know was he was a very abusive drunk. They didn't know that I would rather be anywhere than at home. I loved staying overnight with others but I was always worried about leaving my little sister at home...alone...so I rarely stayed overnight anywhere. If I did get permission to stay somewhere, I was always in trouble the next day.

I was so jealous of everyone else's life. I never really thought that anyone could have it as bad as I did. Looking back, I know some of them did.

I was at a Bible retreat a few weekends ago and one of the speakers was talking about looking the best you can. She was beautiful...long,thick beautiful blonde hair, very petite, beautiful blue eyes...she was talking about Colossians 3 and how to clothe yourself...for you and for the Lord. Very interesting study. She was great at what she did. But the one thing I remember the most is what she told us at the end of her study. She told us what we were all thinking...how could someone so beautiful have any of the problems we had. She could fit into all the nice clothing, she didn't have to do anything with her hair it was naturally wavy and beautiful...what we didn't know was that she was born with her insides on the outside! Her stomach was nothing but scars. She needed to live in a certain city because that was were her specialist was and when she got constipated, they had to surgically remove it...all the time!

We never know what is going on in the life's of others. They may come from a wealthy family but still have problems...maybe even worse than your own. Don't judge people to quickly...you don't know the whole story! And don't be envious of others...there problems may be worse than yours! You just never know!

Yes...I do...Still think of you!

Does it get easier? Does the sadness ever completely go away? Does that longing to talk to you, hold you, spend time with you ever stop? NO!

The anniversary of your death is two years ago on this DAY...Monday! The actual date is August 13th! Either way you dice it, I still miss you!

A few days ago I was sad and couldn't figure out why...subconsciosly you are never far away. Sometimes I try to block you out so that I can move on with my life...but you are never far away. I dream about you. I think about you. I miss you!!

Yesterday in church I couldn't help but let the tears roll down my face. The pastor was talking about the desert and the fact that sometimes He will not take us on the easiest route but the route that He feels is best for us. Just like when He was leading His people from Egypt...17 God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, "If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt." 18 So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea. Exodus 13:17-18. And then...21 By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. 22 Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. Exodus 13:21 -22.

Can you imagine knowing that the shortest way is to the north but the cloud you are to follow is heading south? A trip that should take you 2 - 3 weeks takes you 40 years?

I know that the Lord has a plan for me. I know that He will not always take me on the shortest or the easiest route but I know that He has something for me to learn or gain...probably Faith in Him.

This time of year brings back so many memories...times I missed with you, times of hurt, pain and anger for the man who hurt us both so badly...pain, hurt and anger that I just can't seem to figure out a way to let go of...You found a way...I miss your strength, I miss your laughter, I miss you!!

Time Flies...

Tax day is almost over! Did you get your taxes in?? I really need to update the blog with some photos but I needed to take some time for myself...so I did!! I scrapped. We had my sister, her boyfriend and his kids over last weekend (Easter) for Tyler's birthday and for Easter...the kids had a wonderful time and of course I had the camera out. The boys were at the table decorating eggs and I got this shot of them all together so I couldn't resist scrapping it with these great Bo Bunny papers. I love the Beau Jardin line. It is so fun and easy to work with...coordinates perfectly. I never used to use patterned paper...wow have I changed.



Anyways, I just wanted to share this quick layout. You can still get the Beau Jardin at One Single Seed...the link is over there on the side...it is 40% off so get on over before they are out!!

Not quite as tired...

Sometimes I think that the good Lord gives you days that are meant to bring you down in order for you to appreciate other days.

Last night I finally got a good night's sleep. This morning I awoke with a whole new attitude. I think the Bible study I am doing right now got me in a funk yesterday. Now this is not a bad thing; sometimes you just need to 'cleanse' your system from all the guilt you carry around. And sometimes that means that you need to have a downer day. You think about what is upseting you, you pray about it, you pray for forgiveness, you give it to the Lord, and then and only then can you start to move on from it. I am not saying that I will never feel guilty about the same things again; I am saying that each day will now be easier than the last because each day I give my guilt and debt to the Lord and I ask for my debt to be forgiven and it is!! That is the part that I was having problems with. I know that He can and will forgive me; but, in not forgiving myself and continually feeling guilty, I am NOT trusting Him. So, each day I am asking Him to help me let go!

Yesterday was a day of purging! Thanks for all the hugs and for letting me vent! I know it's my blog and I can do what I want but it's nice to know so many people care.

Tired...

of alot of things. So today I am going to vent!

I am tired of snow...Yep me!! I love snow but I am officially sick of it. I do not want the hot summer but I want the snow gone!

I am tired of being tired...daylight savings is kicking my butt! I love the extra light at night but getting out of bed to run on the treadmill at 5:30 in the morning...it's just too dark. I know that I will get used to it but it throughs my whole system off. I am hungry at weird times and I am not hungry at meal times. I wake up hungry...normally I don't eat until 10:30 in the morning.

I am tired of being over weight...I have been working my tail off on the treadmill every day. (I give myself one day off a week.) I have cut back on food intake. I have increase exercise. I have given up chocolate and candy! Nothing in over a week! I have not lost; I have not gained. I hate plateaus.

I am tired of dealing with rude people. Drivers, sales people, reporters, customers...ugh! They just don't understand that you get a lot farther with me by being nice than by being rude.

I am tired of being bored...I know that this is a lull before the storm but I don't like not having enough to do at work right now and it drives me nuts to sit here not have enough to do. I feel guilty!

I am tired of feeling guilty! Guilty about not having enough work to do...guilty about my son's sadness over the divorce...guilty about living in sin...guilty about pushing my son too hard...guilty about not being a good friend...
guilty about the lack of relationship I have with my biological father...guilty about not looking for my sister sooner...guilty about way too many things.

Okay, now that I have that off of my chest it is time to move get over it and move on.

I am happy too! But I will leave that for tomorrow!

I have to share...

I have been trying to help out at Treasures to Scrap by not only doing my paper layouts but helping with digital layouts too. Treasures to Scrap has some new designers and let me tell you they totally rock. I was lucky enough to be able to work with Monna Lainson's Autumn Blossom and look what I created:





This kit the most beautiful papers I have ever seen and the detail in the elements... all I can say is AWESOME. And on top of all of that the price is fabulous. You really do need to check this kit out.

HERE

I know....I know....

Wow! All I can say is I am sorry! Time seems to have just been slipping away. Updating anything has been impossible. Well life is never boring around here. My health has been the issue this time! It all started a few months back with a urinary infection. I got some medicine to stop the burning (it turned my urine bright orange) and an anti-biotic (it turned my urine bright red) and believe it or not the colors did not mix they swirled. After that I got eczema on my hands. I had never had it before and it was very painful! They finally put me on a type of steroid that can only be used for 5 days or your skin will fall off! Sheesh...my skin was already peeling like crazy and itching and...what the heck was causing all of this??

Pre-menopause!!!! Can you flipping believe it!! Seems that hormone changes can cause a lot of problems!! And do you think I was done yet? NOPE!! After all of this stuff is cleared up, I get my period (first time in 3 months) and I can honestly say that one...I didn't miss it...two...it was so hard that I would stand up and have a mess running down my leg, even if I had just been in the bathroom 10 minutes earlier (sorry guys!)...third...it lasted for over 3 weeks.

I was light headed (more than normal), sick to my stomach, and I had pain in my abdomen so bad. Yes I finally went to the doctor. They put me on loratab and set up an appointment for an ultrasound. The loratab didn't even cut the pain. They changed it to a type of Morphine. Okay, this worked really well but I don't remember much and I'm not sure I functioned correctly. ROFL! They did both an external and internal ultrasound. Seems I have some cysts on my ovaries (this is what is causing the pain) Did you know that cysts are common with hormone changes! YEAH!! Another two maybe three years of this!! Okay, so that's not all. My endometrium lining is very abnormally shaped. I need to see a gynocologist and have a endometrial biopsy.

Okay for those of you who don't like details STOP reading here.

This biopsy was so painful!! First thing they did was a regular pap. (you know the drill. Yuck!) Then they take another lovely piece of equipment to fold back the outer edge of the cervix. The doctor says, "this will be a little painful...it will pinch." Yeah right. Have you ever been pinched by something that feels like needles?? Okay, so now they want to put this soft, straw-like device (pipelle) to suction a small sample of lining but they can't get it in because my cervix is to small...yeah! So, I am still laying there all hooked up and the doctor has to call a nurse in to go and get a dialator. Okay now I am really uncomfortable. He get the dialator in there (okay can we get anything else into this small area!!) and can't get me to dialate even with this device. Finally after about 1/2 hour the pipelle is suctioning a sample of the lining. (Again, I am told that I will feel a small pinching!) Okay, I am still feeling the needles from the cervical thing...and the dialator should have been used with either a general or regional anesthesia ( I was given nothing!) and now I am being told I will feel another small pinch!!! By this time the tears are rolling down my face. And the doctor says, "It really shouldn't be hurting that bad." UGH!!!

The pap and the biopsy came back fine. But I will continue to have these problems because...yep, hormone changes!! Pre-menopause!!

Anyways, I have been exhausted. I have taken a leave of absence from Treasures To Scrap (thanks for understanding T) and other than going to work, I really have not been doing much of anything (other than driving Tyler to deliver popcorn!)

Today is one of the first days in a long time that I feel like I am getting my life back. I finally slept without pain killers and woke up not feeling hung over. I am getting a little tired now but wanted to let everyone know what has been going on cuz I really haven't even responded to e-mails much.

Michele - I miss you and am sorry I didn't get to see you when you came back for the funeral (Heck! I didn't even get a card and that's not like me! Sorry is all I can say and ask for forgiveness!!)

I am on the mend and am excited that I will have two weeks off at Christmas. I will be off of work from the 19th of December to January 5th! I am not sure what I will do with all that time...my mom says I should paint my bathroom so of course...I won't! ROFL!!

I am off to bed.

Thanks for all the prayers!

A

New Layouts Finally!!

WoooHooo! Can you believe it? I am back on the paper team at Treasure's To Scrap. I am so excited. I loved doing digital layout and Treasure's To Scrap is looking for new digital team members of all types...beginners to advanced. Get on over there and apply...I would love to see some of my friends on the site with me!!




I had fun creating this simple layout of me being stuck in the mud. It took forever to get "un" stuck!! But I had so much fun. This summer was by far the best summer for wheeling. I can say that I would rather be 4-wheeling than anything else including scrapping. It is my first choice for things to do.

Oh My!

I can't believe it has already been over a month since my last post. Things here have been sooo busy. I love, love, love my new job. Working 8 - 5 Mon - Fri is not bad at all. I get up in the morning smile and just about everyone who knows me says that I have a 'sparkle' back. I have been so busy between the new job and Tyler's baseball that I haven't had much time to anything else.


We took a few days on around the 4th and went to the cabin. We had an awesome day with friends and then watched the fireworks that we all pitched in and bought. It really was amazing. Here are a couple of layouts that I did digitally from photos I took the night of the 4th.

Baseball has kept us very busy...here is a layout I did of Tyler for baseball.

And here is one more layout that I did of my friend Katie's beautiful little girl. I love taking pictures of her

.

Well we are off to go fishing for a few hours. I will try to update again soon!

Hugs to everyone! I miss you all!

Bitter Sweet

Well today was my last day at Livgard Surveying! I worked today and then went to Tyler's baseball game...we needed winter jackets, hats and mittens! No Joke!! It is only 40 degrees with high winds!


Got home from the game and realized that I left my purse at work. I was going to go back on Saturday and clean out all of my stuff but I figured since I had to drive over I might as well clean everything out...well, almost everything! I need to leave some of the AT&T stuff there because I have to have an 'office'. I never understood that because I use a cell phone for business and I go to most of my clients...why do I need an office?? Oh well!


I have been very busy the past few days scrapping and cleaning! I clean when I am angry or nervous. I guess the new job could be a reason for being nervous because I am definitely not angry about anything!

Any way I thought I would share some of my new layouts with you but for some reason my external hard drive has decided that it is not going to play nice until I reboot my computer...and since I really don't want to lose everything I have typed, I will save, reboot and then come back. So if you see this, come back in a few minutes and you will see the layouts I have been working on. LOL!


Okay, here is one that I did using Fabella's Template. The template can be found at Treasures To Scrap in the June template thread! I used Trevors Treasures and really had a fun time with this one!

This one was done with Dawn Inskip's Midnight Diamonds found at Treasures To Scrap. I had never seen an owl before (in the wild) and I was driving down a street in town and this guy was sitting on a 'watch for deer' sign! I got a lot of pictures of him but I didn't like the sign. So I extracted him and made this fun Harry Potter type layout.

I think this one has to be one of my favorites. I just learned how to blend using a great tutorial on Heather Mannings blog (you can click on her link to get to her blog). It is a super easy tutorial and I have had so much fun using it. I used Fabella's kit Gentle Boys found at Treasures To Scrap.

So this is what I have been up to. I will hopefully have more for you about the new job soon! Wish me luck and say a prayer if you can please. I am very nervous!

New, new, new

Whoa! Stop the world and let me off! I cannot believe how fast everything is happening. My dear friend Michele will be moving soon to Omaha!! :( My other friend Karen will be moving to Detroit Lakes!! :( They will be leaving within a few days of each other and I am very sad! I will miss you both very much!!

Tyler is just finishing up 3rd Grade!! Can you believe it? And the summer is already gone! My gosh I just cannot believe it. We have baseball, boy scout camp, bible camp, not to mention a vacation if we can fit one in?!

Last week Tyler got a reward from the Voyageur Area Council (Boy Scouts). He took 8th place in popcorn sale out of over 4,000 boys and in reality he was higher than that because my total was $300.00 higher than theirs. But it really didn't matter in the long run.

Some really good news about Trevor can be found over at TTS and Tracy's blog! He finally got his transplant and so far so good! We continue to pray for him and of course for the families of the donors. It always seems so terrible that someone must die in order for another to live. But I am so thankful that there are donors out there!!! If you are a donor, THANK YOU! If you aren't, WHY???

Next Wednesday will be my last day at the work for the surveying company. I have been offered a position with A. H. Zeppa Foundation and my first day will be June 5. (That is also Tyler's last day of school!!) It will be my first time in over 10 years working 8-5, M-F! Yikes! I am excited to start the job but also very nervous.

Let's see...what else is keeping us busy? We started the plans for the cabin and filled out the paper work for the variance. Once that is approved we will be lifting the cabin, pouring a floor, and adding on, both up and out!

Besides that...not much is going on! ROFL!! I have one week left of my Bible Study!! I know...it should be done by now! Part of me doesn't want to do it because then it will be over and I have enjoyed every second of it; so, maybe that is why I am procrastinating! Beth...Angie...I promise I will get on it!!!

Blessings,

Angela

Sick and sick and tired!

Well let's see...what has been happening here you ask?

April 26th I woke up with a headache to beat all headaches. I thought for sure I was going to end up in the emergency room getting a shot of Imitrex for migraines. My sister and her boyfriend and his 4 children came over to celebrate Tyler's birthday (yes, we celebrate all month...we can never get everyone together at one time!) I was so sick! I finally threw up and felt a little better. They left Tianna (the oldest girl) to spend the night. I felt better so Tianna and I created a digital layout, printed it on an iron-on transfer and the put it on a canvas tote. This was for a challenge that Robin had on her blog (click on Robin's name to see her awesom blog and freebies).

We had alot of fun and each of us won a free kit from Robin! Tianna will be thrilled when I see her next time.

Sunday I woke up and still didn't feel well. My head was spinning and I was dizzy. (Dizzier than normal!!!) My face hurt, my ears hurt, my hair hurt!

Monday I tried to go to work and made it a whole hour and a half. I was hot and then cold and I was sick to my stomach...no way I am going to throw up in a public bathroom!!

Tuesday I stayed home. By Wednesday I in horrible pain. I felt like someone was putting needles in both my ears. I finally relented and went to the doctor. Double ear infections!! Ugh! Antibiotics...and no work on Thursday.

Friday I was finally able to sit up for about 5 hours and work at the computer. Saturday and Sunday were both very slow days. I really lost a lot of strength.

Monday I went back to work...Finally!!!

As you can see I have changed my blog a little bit. This was also a challenge by Robin! (Along with a template and instructions! She is just rockin' her blog. I used a kit by Teraginna from TTS (link to TTS is on my side bar). This kit has some great papers and the elements totally ROCK!!!

I also did two very quick card using this kit.

So in a nut shell...I have been sick and tired and I am sick and tired of being sick. I am trying to catch up on everything and with everyone. So if I have missed you, I am sorry. I am still trying to clean my house, do laundry, catch up at work, catch up with bible study, catch up on forums, catch up...okay you get my drift.

I have missed you all and hope that you will stop by Robin's blog and check it out; if for no other reason than to leave her some love and don't forget to check out the great deals at TTS.

Until next time...I'm Believing God!!

I am stunned!

I said before that I have been participating in a contest at Scrapping With Grace. I cannot believe I made it into Week 3! This week we can do whatever we want! As long as we use at least 75% Cosmo Cricket. I love Cosmo Cricket. The line is awesome!! However, I am having a major block right now. I have the photo; I have the papers; I just can't seem to find a title or the BLING that I need to make it ROCK!! Yikes!

On another note (still stunned), I just finished week 3 in the Believing God Beth Moore Bible study. I cannot believe that I am still doing the study. I have started studies before but normally after about two or three days, something else comes up and I get detoured. This one is different! I really like the fact that one of the things she asks us to do is to not just believe what she is saying or any other earthly teacher. But to go to the Bible and open our hearts and read what our heavenly teacher has to say. If we do this with an open heart, we will hear what He has to say to us.

I also like the fact that with the online study, I have access to the KVG with strongs. Basically that means that I can look up english words and find out what they mean in Greek or Hebrew and what the word meant when it was orginally written. It really, really changes how I interpret what I read.

Other than that, my stunning miracle of the day today is that my Ex called and was polite! We had a very nice conversation. I am always so happy when we can get along. I wish that we could just be friends but most of the time he tells me a can't stand even talking with me.

Well that's it for today.

Blessings,

Lost more than an hour!

With the time change here last Sunday, I have been so tired. I more than made up for the one hour loss. I went home on Monday at noon and slept about 20 hours. My body must have been fighting something. I still have a scratchy throat, my ears are plugged but other than that I feel pretty good.

Bible study has been going great! I haven't been able to get to the Blue Braclet group and share a whole lot. I slept and then I spent time with Tyler and then I slept ... Between Bible study and keeping up with house chores and then there is this scrapbooking stuff (more on that in a minute) and losing that hour...there is not enough time in the day.

On Tuesday late afternoon I got an e-mail that really bummed me out. TTS had to let go of the entire Paper Team (I was on that team.). It was not something that she wanted to do but it happened anyway. So as of March 31st, I will not longer be on a Creative team. I will still be a part of TTS as a member as the community is awesome! If you haven't stopped by, GET ON OVER THERE!!!

I have also been participating in a contest at Scrapping With Grace. (I originally went to the site because I thought that it might be about Inspirational scrapbooking.) Anyways, there was a contest just starting called The Last Scrapper Standing. It is fun but man, oh, man the gals I am competing with are AWESOME!!! I am pretty sure I will be bumped on Monday.

On the home front, Yikes!!! Tuesday Tyler's teacher called me and told me that Tyler was NOT having a very good day. He intentionally tripped a boy, the boy fell and hit his head on a desk, Tyler got mad at himself, went to his desk and shredded a notebook and to make matters worse he stuffed food down a girls snow pants at lunch. Could I please come to the school and talk with him and the school counselor. UGH!!! Well it really wasn't as bad as the teacher made it sound. After talking with the room aide (Tyler's teacher wasn't in the room when the tripping took place.) who was standing right next to Tyler, Tyler did NOT intentionally trip the boy. Tyler and a group of kids where playing with some items while sitting on the floor. One of the boys was taking what the kids where playing with. When this boy came back to take more stuff, Tyler tried to stop him by grabbing his ankle, when Tyler let go of his ankle, the boy tripped over a box. He did not hit his head on anything!! Tyler did get upset and tried to tear up his notebook. And the stuffing food down the girls snowpants was nothing more than one french fry!! Okay, so he had a rough day. But it wasn't as bad as the teacher made it out to be. Tyler was put to bed early (being as he was up until after 10:00 Monday night and after 12:30 on Saturday night (I don't like that his dad lets him do that!!))

Oh well, that is life here! I am hoping to give my blog a makeover today but we will see if I get it accomplished!

Blessings,

Readings...

Today I started an online Bible Study - Beth Moore's Believing God. I have never followed through with a Bible Study from beginning to end. I am hoping to be a little more motivated this time. Maybe the timing is 'Right'. I am hoping to day to carry you with me on this 10 week journey. I am not good at blogging on a daily basis but I have set up my 'area' near the computer. I am not going to get deeply into Beth Moore's message as that is something you truly have to see and hear! It is wonderful and well worth the visit. I am in awe of her ability to speak and to convey a message to so many and have it so that all understand.

What I am going to try and do is to write about something that 'popped' out at me during my studies.

Today it was
Ephesians 1:16
I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.

Something so simple yet has so much meaning to me. I pray everyday for my biological father. I give thanks that I learned so much from him. I learned how I did not want to be which is just as important as learning how you want to be.

It seems that circumstances motivate us to pray...trouble, sickness, distress, stress, crisis. It is sad that there are so many negative things that cause us to pray. Isn't it true that we often turn in a kind of 'list' to God? I want this, I want that, Lord will you do this, Lord will you do that? I think He would appreciate thanksgiving regularly, not just once a year.

And did you know that 'remembering you in my prayers' actually means to mention someone by name in your prayers. Not just a general mentioning. The research I am finding is quite interesting.

When Paul wrote Ephesians and made the above statement he was not asking for material things, he was asking for spiritual blessings. Asking the Spirit of God to reveal Christ to my soul and open the Word to my heart. One can be very brilliant yet there is no guarentee that there will be an understanding of spiritual truth. Scripture puts more emphasis on the understanding of the heart than of the head.

We are not alone! We have the Spirit in us and we have the protection of the full armor of God. It's up to us to use what we've been given.

Open my eyes,Lord
I want to see Jesus.
To reach out and touch Him
To show Him I love Him
Open my ears,Lord
And help me to listen
Open my eyes, Lord
I want to see Jesus

Blessings,

If God didn't have a purpose for us, we wouldn't be here!

Wow! What a powerful statement!

I have been talking with friends online and face to face, who are like me and going through some sort of difficult time. I think of the trouble I have in my life and then I think of the trouble that other's have...I really can't complain a whole lot!! I am healthy, I have a roof over my head, I have a job, I have a wonderful, healthy son, I have a great boyfriend who thinks the world of me and I have the best friends in the world. Really!

Last week after reading my post my friend Anne gave me some AWESOME words:

Sometimes it isn't really the loss of a relationship that hurts and saddens us so much, but the loss of the dream and hope of what the relationship could have been (or more to the point, what it should have been).

Oh how those words hit home! The words had healing powers. I have been so fortunate to have friends who listen, care, and send wonderful words of wisdom. I have always hoped that I too could be a friend like that. Give words of comfort, listen and be a true friend when needed most.

I have a friend who gave me a cd called Out Of Breath by Go Fish. If you haven't heard it, find it. If you find it, buy it. You will not be disappointed. It is an awesome Christian acapella group. One of mine and Tyler's favorite songs is 'Your My Little Girl'. This song also has healing powers so much so that I listen to it daily!

Here are the word. Read them carefully!

The ones you love they let you down
And I want you to know that I¹m sorry
The choices that they made were wrong
You were caught in the middle and I¹m sorry

So when the anger and the pain
Get the best of you
I know it seems like you¹re all alone
But I am feeling it too

Chorus
'Cuz you're my little girl
You¹re the one that I created
No one in this world could ever be like you
When you're cryin' in the night
All you need to do is call me
I¹ll be there for you
'Cuz you¹re my little girl

vs. 2
When you're lookin in the mirror
I hope you're likin' what you see
Because no matter what you're feelin'
You're perfect to me

Because I see you as a child
Blameless in my sight
Just spend some time with me
And I¹ll make everything alright

Chorus

Bridge

I know you don't deserve what you've been through
I know it doesn't seem fair
I know that there are times you think you're alone
But you've got to know that I will be there, be there

Chorus

The same group did a remake of this song but the first one is definetly better than the second.

I just wanted to take today and thank my friends, my online friends as well as my local friends. Sometime I don't understand but I do know that God has a purpose for me; He will always be there for me...all I have to do is open the door and let Him lead me in!

Blessings,

If you don't try, you've already failed!

Back in January I told you about a layout I had to do about ME! If you go back and read it, you will learn that I almost didn't do it; if I hadn't done it, I wouldn't be on the CT at TTS. It just goes to show that if you put your mind to something, you can succeed and if you don't try, you've already failed!!

I am trying very hard to be an optimist...so with out further ado...here is the layout that I posted for the AAM requirement.

Journaling Reads:

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name

would care to know my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star would choose to light the way for my ever wondering heart.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again.

Who am I?

That the voice that calms the sea would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me.

I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I’m calling, Lord; you catch me when I’m falling. And you told me who I am…I am yours.

Not because of who I am but because of what you’ve done. Not because of what I’ve done but because of who you are.

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

‘Cuz I am yours.

I am yours.

Casting Crowns

Blessings,

I am...

exactly where I am supposed to be.

Have you ever been so depressed about so many things and then either read something, feel something and/or hear something and realize that no matter what is happening it is happening for a reason and that you are exactly where you are supposed to be!!!

Right around Christmas I started to talk to my biological father again. When I got a divorce, he basically disowned me...there is more to it than that but again that is another story. After a week of really trying hard to make an effort to call him and talk with him and work through our problems, he, out of the blue, tells me that he doesn't think that this will work...basically I was told that it was not worth the effort. I have had a very difficult time dealing with this. Those of you who know me know the history and all the abuse (physical, mental and emotional) that my mother, my sister and I took from my biological father. When my mom decided she wanted a divorce I was thrilled!!! No more beatings, no more shot guns, no more being thrown down flights of stairs or having glass shards thrown at me... Fast forward to age 23...He had quit drinking and been sober for 5 years. We started a very delicate relationship but it grew and we became friends. Anyways, I have spent 20 years letting this man slowly come back into my life. When my marriage fell apart, my biological father decided that I was not worth the effort. I was truly devastated. I have been carrying this around for almost three years. At Christmas, I tried again. I really thought that maybe we could become friends again. Guess not!! I didn't get as upset about this as I have in the past but it did/does eat at me now and again.

A few days ago, I was looking through the gallery at TTS and came upon a layout by Nancy P. It's a great layout with a quote that is fabulous...I have learned to love enough to let go! I know that I will never live up to my biological father's expectation...I love him, I will always love him...but I need to let him go! Thank you Nancy for helping me realize that I NEED to let go!

Tonight while watching SnowBuddies with my son I heard another wonderful quote...I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I have to trust that the Lord has something in mind with all of this and that He has put me exactly where I am supposed to be...I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I don't have to understand it...I just need to trust him!!!

Thanks to everyone who has supported me through this...thanks for listening, thanks for holding me, thanks for advise, plane and simple THANKS!!! (Don't think that this is the end of it as I know it will rear it's ugly little head again) But I know that I can always count on all of you to be there holding me up through the whole ordeal!

Blessings,

Vista

The past few days have been crazy to say the least. My laptop finally kicked the bucket. It works but is very slow and after about 10 minutes starts to 'clunk'. It is 8 years old. It has been used very well. I have been looking for a new computer for about a month. I wanted to stay with XP but it seems that it is only available for business (special build) and is VERY expensive. Unless of course you are able to build it yourself...I can't. So it took about a month to convince me that my only choice was either Mac or Vista and I have too many programs that won't ever run on Mac. So it was Vista. That choice being made, I needed to decide what kind of processor. I knew I wanted something that could multi-task and was very fast. Ok, Quad Core was the only choice. Now researching whick Quad Core - Intel or AMD. It didn't take me long to figure out the Intel was the answer. After reading a lot of the chat rooms, even AMD people where disappointed with the AMD processor. It used to much electricity (my hair dryer on low for the whole day!) and it was very loud! The rest was much easier...Vista only reads up to 3GB of memory so there was no sense paying for any more. I already had the 500 GB external HD so anything with 500 or higher was more than enough.

I looked at Circuit City, Best Buy, Sam's Club, on-line...Well being as I am an instant gratification girl and the price difference was zero...I ended up at Best Buy. I purchased an HP Intel Core Quad Core, 3GB Memory, 720 GB Hard Drive computer. I also got a 24" LCD Flat Panel, High Definition, Widescreen monitor! It rotates from widescreen being side to side to widescreen being up and down so that I can turn it for the photos that I take sideways. WhooHoo!!!

I also ordered my wide format Epson printer!!! I am so excited. It should be here on Tuesday!

I paid for Best Buy's Geek Squad to 'optimize' the computer, basically to take off all the trials, the anti-virus software, the infommercials...all the crap that shouldn't be on there in the first place.

Got home - still Thursday night...put everything together. Monitor doesn't work. By this time it is close to 10:00 pm. Called HP...someone was actually in customer support and they walked me through everything. By this time I am exhausted so off to bed. I have Friday off from work so I can finish setting the computer up AND get my layouts done for TTS.

Friday morning... computer won't let me on to GMAIL, won't let me post to TTS and when I tried to install my anti-virus, I was informed that there was already an anti-virus program on the computer. I looked for Norton's in the uninstall portion of the computer and sure enough, there it was! I hit uninstall and was informed that I needed to reinstall Norton's before I could uninstall! I called the Geek Squad and was told to bring the computer in and they would uninstall Norton's correctly AND refund my 'optimization' charge. I didn't have time for this couldn't they just walk me through it. Nope. I also talked to them about GMAIL. They said it was something to do with the computer registry and that I could really mess things up if I tried to fix it. UGH!!!!

Off to Best Buy, they couldn't get Norton's to uninstall either. Finally after 2 hours they got it to uninstall. During this time, they have power cycled the computer so many times that I noticed that my old laptop booted up faster than this new computer. I asked them if it should be that slow. The 'big' Geek Squad guy is rolling his eyes at me by this time but humors me by timing the boot up process. 2 minutes go by and he finally tells one of his guys to just go get me a new $%^& computer. Okay...now another hour to optimize AGAIN!! I finally got back home 5 hours later.

Now I have come to learn a few things about Vista...it's not as bad as everyone says, if you want to install something and it won't let you, shut off the firewall, I love that I can listen to FM radio, I love that I can watch DVD,s, listen to CD,s and set it up to watch satellite TV, all with my new surround sound. I can record up to two weeks of any tv program I want and burn it to DVD. I can set up a user for Tyler and he can only go onto the internet sites that I put under his user!

I can see the screen from across the room and with the wireless keyboard and mouse I can scrap and surf at the same time. I also have a remote for the TV, internet, music...so I can mute instantly.

So, all in all even though it was orignally a pain in the butt. I am happy with my purchase. (I do still have the XP system up and running right now but eventually I will convert everything to this system.

So now I had better get my butt moving on those layouts for TTS. By the way, if you haven't read their newletter...go take a look at it. It has some great layouts.

http://digistore.treasurestoscrap.com/newsletter/feb2008.pdf

They also have a new blog. Check out the challenges and ideas there too!

http://treasurestoscrap.blogspot.com/

I am working with some of the awesome supplies from ScrapWorks today and will hopefully have a layout to share with you later today or tomorrow.

Blessings,

Angela

Creative Team

I am a little behind the times on my blog. Things here have been...beyond busy to say the least. Christmas was wonderful! As close to perfect as you can get. It was low key...no rushing, no hustle and bustle. It truly way a wonderful holiday. The only down side was Dan had to work because of the snow. But look at the bright side...the overtime paid for Christmas and he was still here on Christmas eve and Christmas day! He even made it home for dinner on Christmas eve eve.

Then of course there was New Years! We celebrated at home with two other couples. We played Tyler's Wii and had a wonderful time. A few too many jello shots (if that's possible) but it was great. The only down side was that my friend Michele confirmed that she and her family where relocating to Nebraska. I will miss her very much.

New Years day we went to CrossLake and visited Caryn and her family and of course my wonderful Nephew Matthew. We had a great time...so much so that we decided to go back on Saturday and spend the day and night and Sunday. We had so much fun. We went bowling with the kids and then had pizzas. Then the adults played a few games and the kids watched movies. It was hard to leave on Sunday.

The 8th of January brought us the cub scout Pinewood Derby! We didn't even start the darn car until Thursday the 3rd! Yikes! But all was good. Tyler took four 1st places and was awarded the first place trophy in his division! I think next year we will wait until the last minute again. Seemed to work pretty good.

Back on January 2, my favorite site sent out a call for a Creative Team. All they asked for was a link to my gallery, my name and little things like that. I thought...I can do this. It will get me scrapping again on more of a schedule and it's something I love to do and I LOVE the site. So I sent in my applications. On January 7 they sent the zinger...we had to do a layout about ourselves. You all know me...I do not scrap myself. I just can't! I was very upset about this and told Dan I was going to withdraw my application. He was very quiet for a long time. I finally asked him what was wrong and he told me he was disappointed in me. I was giving up before I even tried! I told him I would sleep on it. The next morning I had an idea...I did the layout...I wasn't happy with it but it was done. At this point even if I didn't get a position of the Creative Team, I was happy with myself...I had done something I didn't think I could do.

Well this morning they announced the new Creative Team...Guess what???? I MADE IT!!!! I am so happy! and overwhelmed and scared and...

You know me if there is something to worry about...I will do it. And if there is nothing to worry about...I will find something to worry about.

This is a new beginning for me. I have been on a Creative Team before but I knew the person who was the coordinator (again my wonderful friend Michele). This one I did all on my own!

Wish me luck and check back often...they are always having some sort of a contest and I would love to see my friends on the site!!

Blessings,

I made a promise...

As most of you know, my sister passed away from Breast Cancer this past August. A battle she fought to the very end. A few days ago a friend of mine was diagnosed with a very rare form of Breast Cancer call IBC (Inflammitory Breast Cancer). It is not a lump! It does not look or react like normal Breast Cancer as we think of it. It is very hard to diagnose and most of the time by the time it is diagnosed, it is so far advanced that it is NOT treatable! My promise to her, to my sister's memory and to all who have gone before them is this...Inform!!

Please, listen to this pod cast: http://www.mayoclinic.org/rss/cancer-podcast.xml
You will need to download it to your computer and then listen to it.
Again,inflammatory breast cancer is rare - representing just 1-5% of all breast cancers diagnosed. Unlike other breast cancers that present as a lump, inflammatory breast cancer is a more diffuse disease that spreads throughout the breast tissue. Because the symptoms are ambiguous, women with IBC are more likely than other women with breast cancer to be misdiagnosed, and ultimately diagnosed after the disease has metastasized.

Please log on for specific symptoms of IBC to http://www.mdanderson.org/diseases/breastcancer/display.cfm?id=39c2c5ae-a411-49e9-875855cb37b6c999&method=displayfull

Please feel free to copy, paste and redistribute any or all of this to friends and family. It is so important that woman become informed of this type of breast cancer!!

Blessings,